Three women in their 20s describe life without ‘Bank of Mum and Dad’

  • Three UK women in their early 20s have described to the BBC how they navigate rent, bills and job searches without the financial support that many of their peers receive from family.
  • BBC Your Voice revealed earlier this summer that more than 40% of 25-year-olds in the UK are living with their parents, with dozens of young people telling the team they rely on the so-called Bank of Mum and Dad.
  • Citizens Advice found 57% of people in their 20s are behind on at least one bill, compared with 36% of adults overall, in a survey of more than 5,500 people.
  • Citizens Advice says increasing numbers are struggling to afford everyday essentials like rent and food without support from their parents.
  • Official figures show 39% of English care leavers aged 19 to 21 are not in education, employment or training, compared with about 13% of young people overall.
  • A government spokesperson cited £2.5 billion of investment in apprenticeships, job grants and training, alongside the Renters’ Rights Act, as policy responses.

Citizens Advice finds 57% of UK adults in their 20s behind on at least one bill

The BBC’s Your Voice team published accounts on Tuesday from three women in their early 20s describing how they manage rent, bills and job searches without financial help from family. The reporting follows the team’s earlier finding this summer that more than 40% of 25-year-olds in the UK are still living with their parents — a statistic that prompted dozens of young people to contact the team about relying on the so-called Bank of Mum and Dad to cover rent, bills and other living costs.

Citizens Advice says increasing numbers are struggling to afford everyday essentials like rent and food without support from their parents.

Eleanor Bell, 23, from East Riding of Yorkshire, was taken into care at age 10 and went on to earn a first-class degree from the University of Central Lancashire. After graduating two years ago, she thought the playing field would even out. It hasn’t.

Bell said she has applied for more jobs than she can count and had been through a handful of unsuccessful interviews. She is currently living at her boyfriend’s home outside Penistone in South Yorkshire; the arrangement helps with living costs, but the rural location has made the job hunt harder for someone without a driving licence.

“I know a lot of people who’ve got jobs because their mum or dad worked there before them,” Bell told the BBC. After reading the earlier BBC Your Voice article, she added: “I guess it makes me a bit sad. I’d like to live with my parents… but it made me think about the people like me, the people that don’t have that, what are they doing then? Where are they? Who do they have to fall back on?”

“It’s like everyone in their 20s is having to tread water, but I haven’t been given a buoyancy aid,” she said.

For Eleanor, it’s not just financial support and the roof over her head that she’s missing. “I want to be independent and so when you get to this kind of thing it’s like hitting a wall,” she told the BBC.

“You don’t have someone to hold you and go, ‘Look I’ve done the same thing, but don’t worry’ … that lack of preparation I think really does affect you,” she explained.

“I don’t quite know what to do, that’s how I feel, just a bit lost. I’m just back to being in the dark without a torch kind of thing, that’s what it feels like.”

Official figures show that 39% of care leavers aged 19 to 21 in England are not in education, employment or training, compared with about 13% of young people overall.

In Sunderland, Sam Barrett, 24, feels frustrated that others her age have a financial back-stop that isn’t available to her. Barrett left her full-time job in hospitality to care for her mother and is studying health and social care part-time, but says that Carer’s Allowance and Universal Credit don’t cover her main expenses.

“Not a lot is coming in, you only get so much being a carer. I don’t buy any luxuries, I rarely do anything fun,” she said. Her mother helps financially when she can, but Barrett said she is conscious of how little there is to go around.

“I’ve always felt it was a bit unfair growing up and seeing other people being at a massive advantage compared to me. Like a lot of parents would be like, ‘here’s money for driving lessons, and here’s your car’, and I can’t just do that,” she said.

“I’m saving the government money by caring for my mam. The government aren’t doing anything to help you, they’re basically saying just get into debt.”

In Ramsey, Cambridgeshire, Ezgi Polat, 23, lost her job 12 months ago and quickly fell behind on rent and bills when her family was not in a position to help.

“My parents were struggling financially, just like I am, just like everyone else… I got myself in arrears, a lot of debt because I just couldn’t afford it - £300 was not covering any of my bills at that point,” she said. She was receiving £360 a month in Universal Credit, but with rent at £460, plus utility bills, council tax and living costs, her total debt spiralled to about £4,000. After her local bus service was cancelled, making trips to the job centre increasingly difficult, her benefits were then cut.

She turned to Citizens Advice for help. Three months ago her rent arrears were wiped out by the council, and she has agreed to pay £200 a month each to her electricity and water companies in repayment plans. She’s now working in a warehouse and feels like life is getting back on track, but it’s not been an easy road.

“A lot of older people feel like we’re not ambitious enough, or we’re not striving hard enough, but they’d be surprised at the amount of people out there so desperate for work and so desperate for support but with nowhere to turn to,” Polat said.

In a recent survey of more than 5,500 people commissioned by Citizens Advice, 36% of adults said they were behind on at least one bill. For those in their 20s, that figure climbs to 57%.

The latest government figures show that just under a million young people in the UK are currently not in employment, education or training.

A government spokesperson said: “We are determined to restore hope and deliver opportunity for young people in every postcode. That’s why we are investing £2.5 billion to create opportunities for young people to earn or learn through more apprenticeships, job grants, and training. And for those moving out for the first time, our Renters’ Rights Act gives tenants more rights and protection from excessive increases.”

Luke Young, head of policy at Citizens Advice, said young people are trapped between rising costs and a difficult jobs market. “For young people right now the divide is growing bigger between those who do have financial support from families and other networks, and then those who don’t,” he said. “Young people who don’t have that wider support network are being let down.”

Reporting by BBC Your Voice correspondent Colletta Smith and Your Voice producer Elaine Doran. Additional reporting by Adam Clarkson and Elliot Deady.