Voice
A satirical character: an exaggerated send-up of Donald Trump's documented public conduct and grievance style, written entirely in parody. Every column is anchored to the public record, pushed to the edge of absurdity, and labeled as parody at the top, at the foot, and in the page's metadata. Not the words or positions of Donald J. Trump.
Look at these people. LOOK at them. The Democrats — and I have known the Democrats my whole life, I have studied them better than any human being alive, including the Generals, and I have studied the Generals a lot, believe me, a LOT — the Democrats are now pretending that every Republican House district in America is a "battleground." They're throwing darts at the map,…
2026-09-03 · 4 MIN READNobody knows beef like me. NOBODY. Not the fake ranchers, not the lobbyists, not the low-IQ people at the National Cattlemen's, nobody. I've been talking about this deal for MONTHS — maybe the longest anybody's ever talked about beef — and what do I get? Fake News, sad weak people on television, the most unfair thing anybody has ever said about the GREATEST trade President in…
2026-09-01 · 6 MIN READ(Long Island — Saturday) I went out to Long Island this weekend and did something nobody expected. Not a rally. Not a Justice Department press conference. Not even a tweet, although believe me I have the best tweets, very high-quality…
2026-08-31 · 6 MIN READNOBODY knows deals like I do. NOBODY. I just made the BIGGEST energy deal in the HISTORY of our Country — 90 BILLION barrels of BEAUTIFUL Venezuelan oil, ALL OURS, taken right out from under the noses of the Fake News losers and the…
2026-08-28 · 5 MIN READSo these RADICAL LEFT Democrats in Michigan — totally screwed up, believe me, totally, totally screwed — they sent one of their FAKE activists to confront a sitting Congresswoman at a party event this week. In SAUGATUCK, Michigan,…
2026-08-27 · 7 MIN READScott Bessent — my Treasury Secretary, very TREMENDOUS, the best Treasury Secretary, I picked him myself, the smartest pick, very loyal — went out this week and announced an economic ONSLAUGHT on Iran. Economic onslaught. The word ONSLAUGHT. Nobody uses it better than me, I invented that word for Iran, basically — and Scott used it BEAUTIFULLY, just beautiful, exactly the way…
2026-08-26 · 5 MIN READThe most tremendous deal in the history of concerts. Nobody could have done it, believe me. Very few people could have made this deal. The Wall Street Journal — total haters, total losers, the lowest-rated paper in America, very low ratings — put out a piece saying I "settled it." Settled what? Beautiful settlement. Big league settlement. Art of the deal, tremendous. I made…
2026-08-24 · 4 MIN READThe Wall Street Journal — tremendous newspaper, very smart journalists, the best — wrote this week that House Democrats are preparing nearly a DOZEN investigations into my administration if they win the House in November. Twelve! A dozen…
2026-08-22 · 6 MIN READI want to be very clear about something, and I am saying this for the cameras, and I am saying this for the historians, the very best historians, the smart ones, many people, very smart people, the BEST people, and they are calling it the…
2026-08-22 · 4 MIN READI have been saying this for six months. SIX MONTHS. Many people — very smart people, the best people, geniuses, tremendous geniuses — they have been telling me, "Sir, you had this all along." And I did. I always did. But you don't reveal…
2026-08-21 · 9 MIN READThe next time someone tells you Carney is winning the trade war, ask them to explain what winning means. Because from where Diklis Chump sits — and Diklis Chump sits very high, believe me, the highest, nobody sits higher — the deal is…
2026-08-29 · 4 MIN READFriday. Friday in Middletown, Ohio. JD — the best Vice President, believe me, the BEST, very smart people are saying it — JD is going to stand at the Cleveland-Cliffs Middletown Works. The Armco plant. Beautiful Armco. The plant where his…
2026-08-21 · 5 MIN READ
This is 4D chess, the highest level chess, while Cassidy plays checkers, while the pharma lobbyists play checkers, while Bobby's low-IQ people play checkers, I am playing the beautiful game, the smart game, the BEST game. President Diklis…
2026-08-19 · 9 MIN READThe cabinet had to go to Iowa. The President — that's me, the President, very presidential, the MOST presidential — sent the BEST people, the smartest people, the toughest people, all of them, SIX of them, count them, six, RFK Jr., a…
2026-08-18 · 8 MIN READI looked at the grass on the National Mall. It's brown. SAD. Patchy. Dead-looking, the kind of dead-looking that requires a President of the United States to post a photograph of it on Truth Social — my Truth Social, the BEST Truth Social,…
2026-08-17 · 3 MIN READSome people — very stupid people, people with very small brains, the brains that lose, the brains nobody respects — they say Marco Rubio isn't doing his job. Not doing HIS job. The job I gave him. My Marco. MY Marco. The Marco I picked.…
2026-08-16 · 5 MIN READFriends, patriots, the BEST Americans, do I have news for you. I knew it. The people are saying it — many people, very smart people, the BEST people, the most tremendous people — they are all saying the same thing. I told them, ELON IS…
2026-08-14 · 7 MIN READSo Frank Kendall — Leaky Frank, very low energy, very low energy — West Point, previous-administration person, very weak previous administration — is suing me to get his security clearance back after the clearance people revoked it on…
2026-08-11 · 4 MIN READThe new poll numbers are out, and they are FAKE, completely fake, the most dishonest numbers you have ever seen. They say the Democrats are leading on the economy — four points in April, nine points in July, the FIRST time since 2010 — and…
2026-08-10 · 5 MIN READYou should see the casino in Chandler, Oklahoma — the Iowa Tribe's casino, my casino, OUR casino, the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. It opened in April and the crowds were like nobody has ever witnessed. They filled the gambling…
2026-08-09 · 4 MIN READThe oil companies are making too much money. TREMENDOUS money. Marathon made $5.1 billion, Valero made $3.7 billion, Phillips 66 made $3.8 billion, and Exxon made $14.5 billion, numbers so large that very smart people are saying they may…
2026-08-07 · 6 MIN READThe victims are not statistics to me. They are Shireen Abu Akleh, Amer Mohammed Rabea, Tawfic Abdel Jabbar, Mohammad Ahmed Mohammad Khdour, Sayfollah Musallet, Omar Assad and Aysenur Ezgi Eygi—very important people, very sad facts, the…
2026-08-06 · 4 MIN READThe Freedom 250 Grand Prix is happening, and I am the one making it happen — August 22nd and 23rd, INDYCAR on Pennsylvania Avenue, the most beautiful street in the most beautiful capital, and nobody — NOBODY — else could have done this,…
2026-08-06 · 5 MIN READCanada, by the way — very unfair, very unfair country when it comes to the fires. They send the smoke, they send it right across the border, our beautiful border, and nobody does anything about it. I said it before and I'll say it again —…
2026-08-06 · 4 MIN READMore than 300,000 citizens signed a petition to put my beautiful new Missouri congressional map before the voters. More than 300,000! A tremendous number, an enormous number, far more than the roughly 111,000 signatures required. Some very…
2026-08-05 · 4 MIN READBrazil refused to approve my ambassador, denied visas to two of my officials, and then acted shocked when I responded with a visa decision of my own. This is what happens when a country thinks delay is a strategy. It is not a strategy. It…
2026-08-05 · 6 MIN READI have been informed that Max Miller, a beleaguered Republican representative from Ohio, is facing calls to resign after allegations of domestic abuse. Three women have accused him — his former wife, and two other women. His ex-wife has…
2026-08-04 · 6 MIN READI have created the most successful peace framework anyone has ever seen, a beautiful framework, a tremendous framework, and the very first thing that happened after I announced it was that Israeli attacks killed at least 14 Palestinians in…
2026-08-03 · 7 MIN READThe FAKE NEWS media—people, very DISHONEST people, the same people who said my crowds were small, which they were the BIGGEST crowds, by the way—are now saying that Truth Social, MY company, is selling institutional traders early access to…
2026-08-02 · 4 MIN READLet me tell you something — Diklis Chump called this Michigan thing a LONG time ago, before anybody, and the polls are proving it RIGHT NOW. El-Sayed is winning the primary by double digits, tremendous numbers, which sounds great for the…
2026-08-01 · 4 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. I just announced the most BEAUTIFUL, the most PERFECT deal in the history of the Middle East. Maybe in the history of the world.…
2026-07-31 · 3 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. Folks, I just won the biggest victory in the history of the United States Senate. Maybe the history of the WORLD. A bunch of…
2026-07-31 · 9 MIN READI ALWAYS know what's going to happen. ALWAYS. Before ANYBODY else. I knew it about Blanche, I knew it about Cornyn, I knew it about Tillis, I knew the EXACT moment they would come crawling back, and the beautiful thing, the really…
2026-07-30 · 7 MIN READI did it again. Twenty-Two Billion Dollars. For an airport. Because nobody does airports like I do, nobody. Dulles International Airport, named after a very great man, a very smart man, a man who understood the Deal — and it’s been sitting…
2026-07-29 · 6 MIN READLindsey Graham — the GREATEST friend, the most LOYAL senator, the most TREMENDOUS fighter — honored today at the National Cathedral, and I'm the one giving the eulogy, which is very appropriate because nobody respected Lindsey more than…
2026-07-28 · 3 MIN READThey are saying — and the smart people, the very smart people, the BEST people, they are saying, the ones I respect, and I respect very few people, believe me, very few — they are saying that MY administration, the administration I built,…
2026-07-28 · 4 MIN READPeople are saying, many very smart people, the BEST people, that Diklis Chump just did something NOBODY has ever done before on undersea cables. Nobody. Cables under the ocean, very deep, very expensive, very TREMENDOUS cables, and I'm…
2026-07-27 · 6 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. You know, I told you. I TOLD you. Zohran Mamdani — the mayor of New York, one of the worst mayors in the history of maybe…
2026-07-27 · 6 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. Hakeem Jeffries, a very low-energy individual, a total lightweight, got on the television this weekend—nobody watches that show,…
2026-07-27 · 4 MIN READSo there is a LOT of fake news going around about this war and I have to set the record straight because the fake news media — very dishonest people, very LOW IQ, maybe the lowest IQ media in history, and I know IQ because I have an uncle…
2026-07-27 · 4 MIN READLook, the Gordie Howe Bridge — beautiful bridge, tremendous bridge, one of the best bridges, maybe THE best bridge ever built between two countries, and I know bridges, I built buildings which are much harder than bridges, believe me — it…
2026-07-27 · 7 MIN READSo I get on the phone with the new Prime Minister of the United Kingdom — a tremendous man, very handsome, "Burnham the Warm," the British people are calling him that now, believe me, they love him, they love him more than anyone has ever…
2026-07-26 · 4 MIN READFive months. FIVE months of the greatest, most beautiful military campaign in history, and I — Diklis Chump — I alone had the genius to pause it at exactly the right moment. Very big decision, the BIGGEST decision of military strategy,…
2026-07-26 · 5 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. The U.S. military just stopped bombing Iran after nearly two weeks of intensifying strikes — very intense, the most intense, and…
2026-07-25 · 6 MIN READThey are both coming to me, Tim Cook and Sanjay Mehrotra, very smart men, very rich men, they come into the Oval Office — beautiful office, very few people get to be in that office, believe me — and they are BEGGING me. Tim Cook says,…
2026-07-25 · 4 MIN READWall Street firms are paying my company, Diklis Chump Media — which I built from nothing, a TRULY GREAT company — up to $100,000 a month to read my posts a few seconds before everyone else. Five firms already signed up. Five! And my people…
2026-07-23 · 4 MIN READI LOVE what the Navy is doing, I love it. The fake news media is very upset, VERY upset, because the Navy, the GREAT U.S. Navy, has decided to stop giving out information about our sailors. For DECADES, decades, they were giving out the…
2026-07-23 · 7 MIN READFifty percent tariff on twenty billion dollars in Canadian goods, effective August, and I signed it — I signed it on July 20, I did it, and nobody else could have done it, nobody else would have done it — because Canada's dairy system is…
2026-07-23 · 6 MIN READCanada's dairy system. I brought it up, I'm the one who brought it up, very few people knew about it, but I knew about it, I know everything about dairy, I know more than anybody, I know about supply management and quotas and the whole…
2026-07-22 · 4 MIN READI tell you, this Diklis Chump Accounts program is the most TREMENDOUS, the most BEAUTIFUL, the most SUCCESSFUL program maybe in the history of programs. The Treasury Department, great people, maybe not great, but they tell me 6.5 million…
2026-07-22 · 6 MIN READI see where the "journalists" are saying I — I mean, the administration — used keywords to find a couple of grants that weren't exactly what we were looking for. Two billion dollars. Maybe more. Who's counting? They're calling it…
2026-07-21 · 7 MIN READI have negotiated the most beautiful tariff in history, 50%, FIFTY PERCENT, on everything from Canada, everything, even the things that were supposed to be exempted, except the energy which I carved out because I'm very smart about energy,…
2026-07-21 · 7 MIN READMy 50 percent tariff on Canada is the most beautiful negotiation, exactly what I wanted, the art of the deal The dishonest media, the very low-IQ people at the Wall Street Journal, they're saying I imposed a 50% tariff on Canada. Fifty…
2026-07-20 · 3 MIN READI have to say, the gas prices — very few people are talking about this, maybe the smartest people — but the gas prices are a tremendous success. Tremendous. Four dollars a gallon. I look at four dollars a gallon and I see success, the…
2026-07-20 · 4 MIN READSo the Wall Street Journal — very failing paper, losing subscribers like you wouldn't believe, terrible management, the worst — they put out a big story saying Diklis Chump has "pulled back" on corporate prosecutions. "Pulled back!" Like…
2026-07-19 · 3 MIN READLet me tell you something. I just made the BEST deal anyone has ever seen for this Country — maybe better than the Louisiana Purchase, which was a good deal, not as good as mine, but a good deal — and the Fake News at a failing newspaper,…
2026-07-18 · 4 MIN READI made corporate guilty pleas collapse at the Justice Department — TWELVE this year, down from about sixty, and it's ALL me, complete, total, the most brilliant corporate-prosecution strategy in the history of the department, maybe any…
2026-07-18 · 9 MIN READSo the Fake News is saying — and they're saying it a LOT, more than they've said anything in a long time, very unfair — they're saying I PUT A TARIFF on Brazil's little phone payment thing, the PIX, which nobody ever heard of until three…
2026-07-18 · 9 MIN READI have been saying this for years, for decades, people thought I was crazy. "Donald," they said, "Nixon? You like Nixon? He resigned, he was a crook." Very stupid people, low IQ. I told them: Nixon was a tremendous president, the best,…
2026-07-18 · 4 MIN READThe PIX payment system — and I know payment systems better than anybody, believe me — is a tremendous rip-off of the United States, maybe the biggest trade disaster in history. Over 140 million people — actually 152 million, I know the…
2026-07-17 · 5 MIN READI've been a Nixon fan for a VERY long time, a very long time, long before the smart young people, the VERY smart young people, started wearing the Nixonmaxxing hats. BEAUTIFUL hats, the BEST hats. I wrote Nixon a letter in 1982 — one of…
2026-07-17 · 4 MIN READSo last night I gave a speech — a TREMENDOUS speech, 25 minutes, prime time, from the East Room, the REAL East Room — and I told the American people what I've been saying for YEARS, what I was the FIRST person to say, before anyone, that…
2026-07-17 · 6 MIN READLook, nobody knows Iran better than me. NOBODY. I have a very good brain and I understand the Middle East better than the generals, the diplomats, the people who spent their whole lives there, and frankly I'm the only one who ever had the…
2026-07-17 · 6 MIN READThe failing Wall Street Journal, which is a TOTAL disaster of a newspaper, very low quality, very unfair — they write this story about my fundraising. Tremendous fundraising, nobody has ever seen anything like it. They say Diklis Chump…
2026-07-17 · 6 MIN READSo I'm going on television tonight, 9 p.m., primetime, and it's going to be REALLY BIG NEWS, the biggest news this Country has ever seen, and the Fake News Wall Street Journal — not as good as it used to be, very sad, used to be a great…
2026-07-16 · 4 MIN READLook at this. The Bank of Korea just raised their interest rate to 2.75 percent — a beautiful number by the way, very precise, very classy — the first increase since January 2023, which was right at the end of my first term, so basically…
2026-07-16 · 5 MIN READR. Kelly, a very bad singer, TERRIBLE, one of the worst, never liked his music, NEVER, has asked me, the GREATEST President in history, to commute his 31-year sentence. He was convicted of many things, very bad things, the worst things,…
2026-07-16 · 7 MIN READLet me tell you about the subpoenas. The New York Times, the failing New York Times, they had federal agents show up at their reporters' homes — beautiful federal agents, the BEST agents, very tough — and they served subpoenas. And I want…
2026-07-16 · 4 MIN READSo I made a tremendous announcement today. On Truth Social — the best platform, the one the fake news is TERRIFIED of because they can't censor it. Very unfair what they tried for years, but they couldn't stop it. Nobody can stop it! I…
2026-07-16 · 5 MIN READPeople are saying — many people, very smart people, the best people — that my endorsement is the most POWERFUL endorsement in the history of politics. Maybe the history of endorsements. I give the best endorsements. Tremendous. And I have…
2026-07-16 · 4 MIN READThe New York Stock Exchange — the BIGGEST, the most prestigious exchange in the world — they rang the opening bell from my OVAL OFFICE last week. Not from their building. From MINE. From the most beautiful office in the history of offices.…
2026-07-13 · 6 MIN READTuesday morning, before 7 a.m., in the East End of Houston, ICE officers tried to grab a Mexican national named Lorenzo Salgado Araujo during what DHS calls a "targeted enforcement operation." The man tried to evade arrest, DHS says, and…
2026-07-08 · 4 MIN READThe failing Wall Street Journal — a very sad paper, lots of low IQ reporters, the LOWEST IQ reporters in the history of finance! — says the Iran deal is in trouble. In trouble. Because the Iranians fired missiles and drones at the ships in…
2026-07-07 · 5 MIN READThe AP — a very failing paper, very weak, lots of low energy reporters, the LOWEST energy reporters in the history of reporters — put out a piece this week saying the American story is "fragmenting." Fragmenting. Like there are TWO…
2026-07-06 · 3 MIN READThe Fake News media and the radical left lawyers at the ACLU are totally panicked. They're suing us, can you believe it? The Family Health Council of Central Pennsylvania — sounds like a bank from the 1980s, very low-energy name, sounds…
2026-06-26 · 7 MIN READI read the Wall Street Journal the other day. Sad! Very sad. I read it — I read everything, the best reader, tremendous reader — and the failing Wall Street Journal, which is practically a Democrat mouthpiece these days, they actually…
2026-06-25 · 6 MIN READThe FAKE NEWS media—and I mean the absolute ENEMIES of the people, a failing publication that nobody reads, these are not journalists, they're low-IQ people, VERY low IQ—they spent the entire weekend in a TOTAL MELTDOWN, a COMPLETE AND…
2026-06-22 · 4 MIN READ
