Voice
A satirical character: an exaggerated send-up of Donald Trump's documented public conduct and grievance style, written entirely in parody. Every column is anchored to the public record, pushed to the edge of absurdity, and labeled as parody at the top, at the foot, and in the page's metadata. Not the words or positions of Donald J. Trump.
So the Fake News is saying — and they're saying it a LOT, more than they've said anything in a long time, very unfair — they're saying I PUT A TARIFF on Brazil's little phone payment thing, the PIX, which nobody ever heard of until three weeks ago, believe me, and NOW they're saying it's bad for — listen, it's not bad, it's TREMENDOUS, what I did is tremendous, the most…
2026-07-18 · 9 MIN READI have been saying this for years, for decades, people thought I was crazy. "Donald," they said, "Nixon? You like Nixon? He resigned, he was a crook." Very stupid people, low IQ. I told them: Nixon was a tremendous president, the best, maybe the greatest president since Lincoln. Nobody understood. But I understood. I always understand. Now look what is happening. Young people,…
2026-07-18 · 4 MIN READThe PIX payment system — and I know payment systems better than anybody, believe me — is a tremendous rip-off of the United States, maybe the biggest trade disaster in history. Over 140 million people — actually 152 million, I know the…
2026-07-17 · 5 MIN READI've been a Nixon fan for a VERY long time, a very long time, long before the smart young people, the VERY smart young people, started wearing the Nixonmaxxing hats. BEAUTIFUL hats, the BEST hats. I wrote Nixon a letter in 1982 — one of…
2026-07-17 · 4 MIN READSo last night I gave a speech — a TREMENDOUS speech, 25 minutes, prime time, from the East Room, the REAL East Room — and I told the American people what I've been saying for YEARS, what I was the FIRST person to say, before anyone, that…
2026-07-17 · 6 MIN READLook, nobody knows Iran better than me. NOBODY. I have a very good brain and I understand the Middle East better than the generals, the diplomats, the people who spent their whole lives there, and frankly I'm the only one who ever had the GUTS to do what needed to be done. The FAKE NEWS — the Wall Street Journal, which used to be a great paper before the radical left got hold…
2026-07-17 · 6 MIN READThe failing Wall Street Journal, which is a TOTAL disaster of a newspaper, very low quality, very unfair — they write this story about my fundraising. Tremendous fundraising, nobody has ever seen anything like it. They say Diklis Chump raised half a BILLION dollars from donors, very beautiful donors, very smart people, and they make it sound like it's a BAD thing. Can you…
2026-07-17 · 6 MIN READSo I'm going on television tonight, 9 p.m., primetime, and it's going to be REALLY BIG NEWS, the biggest news this Country has ever seen, and the Fake News Wall Street Journal — not as good as it used to be, very sad, used to be a great…
2026-07-16 · 4 MIN READLook at this. The Bank of Korea just raised their interest rate to 2.75 percent — a beautiful number by the way, very precise, very classy — the first increase since January 2023, which was right at the end of my first term, so basically…
2026-07-16 · 5 MIN READR. Kelly, a very bad singer, TERRIBLE, one of the worst, never liked his music, NEVER, has asked me, the GREATEST President in history, to commute his 31-year sentence. He was convicted of many things, very bad things, the worst things,…
2026-07-16 · 7 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. I got her out. Dena Karari. Beautiful name, beautiful woman, dual citizen, very smart, works for a technology company, runs a…
2026-07-16 · 6 MIN READLet me tell you about the subpoenas. The New York Times, the failing New York Times, they had federal agents show up at their reporters' homes — beautiful federal agents, the BEST agents, very tough — and they served subpoenas. And I want…
2026-07-16 · 4 MIN READ
So I made a tremendous announcement today. On Truth Social — the best platform, the one the fake news is TERRIFIED of because they can't censor it. Very unfair what they tried for years, but they couldn't stop it. Nobody can stop it! I…
2026-07-16 · 5 MIN READPeople are saying — many people, very smart people, the best people — that my endorsement is the most POWERFUL endorsement in the history of politics. Maybe the history of endorsements. I give the best endorsements. Tremendous. And I have…
2026-07-16 · 4 MIN READThe New York Stock Exchange — the BIGGEST, the most prestigious exchange in the world — they rang the opening bell from my OVAL OFFICE last week. Not from their building. From MINE. From the most beautiful office in the history of offices.…
2026-07-13 · 6 MIN READTuesday morning, before 7 a.m., in the East End of Houston, ICE officers tried to grab a Mexican national named Lorenzo Salgado Araujo during what DHS calls a "targeted enforcement operation." The man tried to evade arrest, DHS says, and…
2026-07-08 · 4 MIN READThe failing Wall Street Journal — a very sad paper, lots of low IQ reporters, the LOWEST IQ reporters in the history of finance! — says the Iran deal is in trouble. In trouble. Because the Iranians fired missiles and drones at the ships in…
2026-07-07 · 5 MIN READThe AP — a very failing paper, very weak, lots of low energy reporters, the LOWEST energy reporters in the history of reporters — put out a piece this week saying the American story is "fragmenting." Fragmenting. Like there are TWO…
2026-07-06 · 3 MIN READThe Fake News media and the radical left lawyers at the ACLU are totally panicked. They're suing us, can you believe it? The Family Health Council of Central Pennsylvania — sounds like a bank from the 1980s, very low-energy name, sounds…
2026-06-26 · 7 MIN READI read the Wall Street Journal the other day. Sad! Very sad. I read it — I read everything, the best reader, tremendous reader — and the failing Wall Street Journal, which is practically a Democrat mouthpiece these days, they actually…
2026-06-25 · 6 MIN READThe FAKE NEWS media—and I mean the absolute ENEMIES of the people, a failing publication that nobody reads, these are not journalists, they're low-IQ people, VERY low IQ—they spent the entire weekend in a TOTAL MELTDOWN, a COMPLETE AND…
2026-06-22 · 4 MIN READThey walked out, which is PERFECT, the most perfect walkout in the history of deals, believe me. I’m in Maryland, I just flew in, tremendous crowd, the BIGGEST crowd ever to watch a motorcade—nobody has ever seen crowd sizes like the crowd…
2026-06-22 · 9 MIN READLook, I don’t want to say I told you so, but I TOLD YOU SO. Iran — and by the way, Iran was a TERROR, an absolute terror, during the Obama years, they were getting everything, pallets of cash, billions of dollars, the WORST deal in the…
2026-06-17 · 4 MIN READThe failing NPR, which is very failing — nobody listens to it, the ratings are terrible, frankly embarrassing — they keep asking all these ridiculous questions about the Iran deal. "Where is the text? What are the terms? The deal was…
2026-06-17 · 4 MIN READThe failing Wall Street Journal, which is a terrible paper that I’m suing for defamation, a very strong lawsuit, the strongest, is now running a story so false and malicious, so full of lies, that you have to wonder who is running things…
2026-06-16 · 8 MIN READI made the greatest energy announcement in the history of this country—maybe the history of ANY country—on June 4th, very historic, very powerful, $700 million for beautiful American coal, using the Defense Production Act which is a…
2026-06-15 · 5 MIN READThe failing Wall Street Journal—very low IQ, very dishonest—published a big nasty story about my birthday, which I’m not happy about, and they’re saying I fell asleep at the basketball game. Wrong! I didn’t fall asleep. The camera angle…
2026-06-13 · 3 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. The Fake News media is having a TERRIBLE day, a very sad day for them. I see them complaining, the women who write the stories…
2026-06-12 · 7 MIN READThey say a judge — a very, very LOW‑IQ judge, one of the lowest, people are saying it, I’m hearing it everywhere, “Sir, he’s so low‑IQ, much lower than the generals, the generals told me” — a nasty guy, total disaster, a DISLOYAL nobody…
2026-06-12 · 5 MIN READNobody knew it was going to happen, I knew it, but nobody else knew, and frankly it couldn’t have been done by anybody else, not a single person. The fake-news media and the failing, dishonest Wall Street Journal, which is a total…
2026-06-12 · 9 MIN READThe Fake News Media — and I’m reading the Wall Street Journal, a terrible paper, very unfair to me, probably the most unfair, nobody has been treated more unfairly than Diklis Chump, believe me — they’re writing a story about how I’m…
2026-06-11 · 9 MIN READThe Failing Guardian, a completely dead publication, the most failed, very low ratings — nobody reads it, I mean you look at the numbers, they’re in the toilet — just published a disgusting, totally fake hit piece, a witch hunt the likes…
2026-06-11 · 9 MIN READI said on Truth Social, and it's true because I say it, that in the not too distant future we are taking Kharg Island, which is a very beautiful island, very oily, and the smartest people are saying it's the greatest move in the history of…
2026-06-11 · 5 MIN READI am reading the Wall Street Journal today because the failing News won't tell you about the Secret Mission, which is a very big deal, maybe the biggest in history, and they call it a market roundup but I call it a tremendous victory.…
2026-06-11 · 5 MIN READOil ripped past ninety-one dollars a barrel and every failing newspaper in the country is writing it down like it's news, like they just discovered gravity. West Texas Intermediate at ninety-one twenty-one, Brent at ninety-four twenty — I…
2026-06-11 · 4 MIN READThe FAKE NEWS media, the failing Wall Street Journal, is saying our incredible FISA program, Section 702, a BEAUTIFUL program, maybe the most beautiful surveillance program ever, is about to expire on Friday, and that’s because I appointed…
2026-06-10 · 9 MIN READThe failing media, the absolutely lowest IQ media in the history of media, spent every single hour of every single day talking about the anti-weaponization fund — a beautiful fund, maybe a trillion dollars originally, not $1.8b, a…
2026-06-10 · 6 MIN READThe Commodity Futures Trading Commission is finally releasing the massive new framework for prediction markets, allowing almost all sports-related wagers while explicitly blocking bets on war, terrorism, and player injuries. My newly…
2026-06-10 · 4 MIN READI walked into Madison Square Garden, the most beautiful arena in the HISTORY of arenas, TREMENDOUS lighting, PERFECT security, very secure, the BEST security, and what did I see? The BIGGEST crowd ever, maybe they were chanting my name so…
2026-06-09 · 9 MIN READHe finally said it. The Ukrainian president, a nice man but very low energy, told the press — that very failing Guardian, but they had the biggest reach ever, they know I make numbers — that he told me Putin is playing games. Which is…
2026-06-09 · 5 MIN READAn Apache helicopter went down near the Strait of Hormuz yesterday, a critical chokehold where Iran is currently squeezing the global energy market and driving up the price of food on your grocery shelves. The two crew members walked away…
2026-06-09 · 6 MIN READThe Fake News media — and they are the ENEMY of the people, very dishonest — they will not tell you the truth. I have been saying for YEARS, long before anyone else, that the elections in this Country, especially in places like California…
2026-06-09 · 9 MIN READThe FAKE NEWS media, which is the enemy of the people, is now saying that Diklis Chump guaranteed no war. I never said that. I said I was finished with LOSING wars. There’s a BIG difference. The best people are telling me the biggest…
2026-06-08 · 9 MIN READThey are taking down my name from the website. Can you believe it? A website! A little screen of pixels, that’s what they’re scrambling to scrub because they are TERRIFIED of me. A very unfair judge, a total lightweight named Cooper—I…
2026-06-08 · 6 MIN READSo the fake news media — the ENEMY of the people, total FAKE NEWS — they asked me a very nasty question, a low-IQ question from a very unfair person on a FAILING show with very low ratings, the LOWEST ratings, people are saying. Kristen…
2026-06-07 · 9 MIN READThe rain was falling on the barn roof in Wisconsin, very heavy rain, the best rain for a barn interview actually, it added to the atmosphere, tremendous atmosphere. NBC wanted it, failing NBC, they begged for it, so I gave it to them, a…
2026-06-07 · 9 MIN READThey are saying terrible things about the ballroom — the FAKE NEWS is complaining, very failing, the most failing, saying it’s too big, saying four times the size of the house is unreasonable, but the truth is the house was too small, and…
2026-06-07 · 9 MIN READPeople are talking, the best people, very smart people, they’re calling me day and night about this beautiful pardon, the full, unconditional pardon for Stephen Buyer, a tremendous guy, a judge advocate general in the Army, very…
2026-06-06 · 8 MIN READThe fake news is saying I’m stuck, that I’m in a terrible pickle, that the Iran deal is stalled because they’re asking for cash—CASH, very unfair, they want $12 billion up front and more later, from their own money that’s frozen, which I…
2026-06-06 · 3 MIN READThey said it couldn’t be done. They said the Democrats were going to kill my beautiful ally payout fund — the most beautiful fund, maybe the best fund in the history of funds, a TREMENDOUS fund. But they don’t know Diklis Chump. I’m…
2026-06-05 · 8 MIN READI have made a deal — a big deal, a fantastic deal, the biggest deal you have ever seen — to bring back our TREMENDOUS coal industry. I am using the Defense Production Act, a Cold War era wartime statute, a very powerful tool, the best…
2026-06-04 · 5 MIN READTHE FAKE NEWS MEDIA is crying like babies about my BEAUTIFUL banners going up at the Department of Justice, the Department of Labour, the Department of Agriculture — everywhere! They’re calling it “omnipresence,” they’re calling it…
2026-06-04 · 9 MIN READI am watching the podcasts, the very big podcasts, Pod Force One, everybody is talking about it, and what they are saying is that Diklis Chump is assembling the most tremendous, the most beautiful, the most UNBEATABLE team for 2028. JD and…
2026-06-03 · 9 MIN READThe Wall Street Journal published a long article today, a very long and dishonest article, about how I am involved in “regulatory decisions” and “turning federal agencies into an arm of the presidency.” They report that I sat in the Oval…
2026-06-03 · 4 MIN READThe Department of Justice is looking at a very smart man, George Santos—who I barely know, who I only commuted because I'm the most compassionate president in history, more compassionate than Lincoln, who freed the slaves but not as…
2026-06-03 · 4 MIN READI had a beautiful meeting yesterday with Attorney General Ken Paxton, the great Ken Paxton, tough man, very tough, and the Fake News is already writing, already writing their little stories. They use the word "concern." They love that…
2026-06-02 · 9 MIN READSo now two of my GREATEST supporters — James Copenhaver, who took two bullets, very brave, in the abdomen and spine and arm, a beautiful man, and David Dutch, a fantastic gentleman shot once but the doctors said the injuries were “severe,…
2026-06-02 · 3 MIN READThe failed Minnesota congresswoman, Little Ilhan, a total disaster, very low IQ — she wrote an op‑ed in the failing Guardian, and she thinks she’s the absolute authority on fairness. She says I’m crooked. Crooked! I’m the least crooked…
2026-06-02 · 4 MIN READLook, the FAKE NEWS is trying to make a big deal about some singers — very overpriced, very boring singers, nobody even knows who half of them are — quitting my FREEDOM 250 celebration. But here is what they do not tell you, and I know…
2026-05-31 · 8 MIN READThey wanted a bill, a beautiful bill, for the 250th anniversary — the Semiquincentennial, a very big word, I love that word — and the Treasury, they came to me, very smart people, and they said: "Sir, what should we put on it?" And I told…
2026-05-28 · 8 MIN READIt’s a beautiful thing, really — the best. Nobody has ever seen a policy like it. The fake news media, they’re all saying it’s harsh, it’s cruel, they don’t understand. Very low IQ people, the media. They don’t see the chess. I’m playing…
2026-05-27 · 4 MIN READTHE MOST HEALTHY PRESIDENT EVER, LOOK AT THE NUMBERS, THEY’RE TREMENDOUS People are saying, the very smartest doctors are calling me — and I see these doctors, very tough, very serious people — they’re saying, "Sir, Sir, we’ve never seen a…
2026-05-25 · 5 MIN READMichael Waldman, the head of the Brennan Center for Justice, went on NPR this week and called the $1.8 billion antiweaponization fund "epic corruption in plain sight." He said the fund bypasses Congress through a settlement structure where…
2026-05-25 · 7 MIN READNPR's Mara Liasson said the Iran talks look more like a step toward negotiations than a settled deal. Iran's foreign ministry rejected any discussions about their nuclear program. Senate Republicans including Ted Cruz, Roger Wicker, and…
2026-05-24 · 6 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. I just did the most beautiful swearing-in at the White House on the Friday prior. We had the whole place — the East Room,…
2026-05-23 · 5 MIN READTHE CROWD WAS INSANE — frankly the best crowd New York has ever seen. The official number says five thousand people registered for the Rockland Community College event. Five thousand? Please. When you look at the satellite photos —…
2026-05-23 · 3 MIN READLet me tell you about this tremendous day, a day I made, really, by accident—but it was actually genius, 4D chess, the highest level. They’re in Philadelphia, the city of not-so-brotherly love anymore, believe me, crying about some woman…
2026-05-23 · 9 MIN READThe Associated Press just did a MASSIVE study—HUGE study, the biggest study anyone has ever done in Britain—and they asked people across Britain, very smart people, the BEST people in Cambridge and London and Scotland, beautiful places,…
2026-05-23 · 4 MIN READThe very LOW ENERGY people, the fake news, the very stupid people who run the editorial boards, they have a list, a very stupid list, they say I can only write about scandals, about losses, about poll crashes, about the deep state coming…
2026-05-22 · 6 MIN READLast week, the failing AP, which I barely read because I’m too busy making tremendous deals, announced that Philadelphia declared a so-called “Ona Judge Day”—named after a person, frankly, I never heard of, nobody’s ever heard of, but some…
2026-05-22 · 4 MIN READIt was a beautiful, beautiful day in Allen, Texas, and I am so proud to announce that I have just given my TOTAL AND COMPLETE ENDORSEMENT to KEN PAXTON—a true MAGA Warrior, one of the finest people I’ve ever seen. What a guy! The crowds…
2026-05-20 · 4 MIN READTHEY CAME TO ME, THE BEST PEOPLE, WITH TEARS IN THEIR EYES, AND THEY SAID, “SIR, SIR, YOU HAVE BEEN TREATED SO UNFAIRLY BY THE IRS, IT’S A DISGRACE, A TOTAL WITCH HUNT LIKE NOBODY HAS EVER SEEN BEFORE.” AND THEY WERE RIGHT, THEY WERE…
2026-05-20 · 9 MIN READThe endorsement did not simply arrive; it detonated. One Truth Social post, and the standard architecture of a Texas Republican primary runoff—seniority, legislative record, institutional courtesy—ceased to exist. President Diklis Chump…
2026-05-19 · 5 MIN READThe Associated Press reports I am standing over the construction on the former East Wing, yelling over the banging and clanging of heavy equipment to show reporters the ballroom site. The administration asked for $1 BILLION from taxpayers…
2026-05-19 · 9 MIN READI know more about Louisiana politics than the fake news, I know more about Cassidy than Cassidy knows about Cassidy, and I know more about what just happened on Saturday than the Constitutional lawyers, the historians, and the very unfair…
2026-05-19 · 6 MIN READThe Fake News Media is in a total meltdown — FURIOUS, absolutely apoplectic — because my GREAT Acting Attorney General, Todd Blanche, a truly brilliant lawyer, nobody knows the law better than Todd, gave them NOTHING at the hearing. They…
2026-05-19 · 6 MIN READSo here is what happened. Friday night, late Friday, beautiful Friday, and they love Diklis Chump in Beijing, they really do, lined up down the block, beautiful block, lined up to see Diklis Chump, the BIGGEST lines, the most tremendous…
2026-05-17 · 5 MIN READ
