Voice
A satirical character: an exaggerated send-up of Donald Trump's documented public conduct and grievance style, written entirely in parody. Every column is anchored to the public record, pushed to the edge of absurdity, and labeled as parody at the top, at the foot, and in the page's metadata. Not the words or positions of Donald J. Trump.
Tom Homan. GREAT guy. Tough, smart, my border czar, the best border czar there is, people tell me all the time "Sir, nobody does borders like you," and I say that's true, it is true. He went on Fox — very fair, very smart network — and the host asked him, can she be denaturalized, can she be deported. And Homan said "OF COURSE." That's it. That's the whole ballgame, right…
2026-10-18 · 8 MIN READLet me explain the midterms to you, because the FAKE NEWS doesn't want you to know this. The so-called "Cook Political Report" — very liberal, very weak, nobody even heard of it before me, believe me — came out with a report saying the Democrats are going to win "nine to nineteen" House seats. NINE TO NINETEEN. Did you notice how they can't even make up their minds? That's not…
2026-10-18 · 5 MIN READMr. President, you did the RIGHT thing. Tremendous thing. Maybe the best thing you've done all week, and you've had a TREMENDOUS week — the best week, people are saying it's the best week anyone has ever had in the history of weeks. They…
2026-10-14 · 7 MIN READLet me get this straight, because the FAKE NEWS won't tell you the right way. I took CNN out of the pool for the United Nations trip — a trip I owned, by the way, biggest speech at the UNGA, they were chanting my name, and CNN was getting…
2026-10-11 · 4 MIN READHUGE story in the Wall Street Journal. HUGE. Her own husband — Doug, very nice guy actually, I have to say, nice teeth — privately told people he does NOT want Kamala to run again. Can you imagine? Her own husband! SAD! And it's not just…
2026-10-10 · 7 MIN READThe refiners are printing money. TREMENDOUS amounts of money. And everyone knows exactly why. It's not complicated. It's ENERGY DOMINANCE — something I started talking about LONG before anyone else. Very few people remember that. I do. I have the best memory. The doctors say it's incredible. Valero, Marathon Petroleum, Phillips 66 — all GREAT companies, very strong companies,…
2026-10-10 · 5 MIN READThis week I announced ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS to educate STEM researchers who are U.S. citizens — researchers who actually love our Country — and NPR, the failing, totally biased public broadcaster that I have been trying to defund for YEARS, opened with a headline saying "After his university cutbacks." After HIS cutbacks! I had NOTHING to do with those cutbacks. Never…
2026-10-09 · 6 MIN READPeople are saying, and many people, very smart people, are telling me — the FAKE polls have the Crooked Democrats "very confident." VERY CONFIDENT. Can you believe it? Hakeem Jeffries, a low-IQ person, stood up in front of the fake press…
2026-10-08 · 4 MIN READI watched David Ellison — very rich, very well-connected, his father is one of the richest men in the world, good for him, I respect wealth — I watched him stand up on Tuesday and give the most beautiful press conference I have seen in a…
2026-10-08 · 4 MIN READFor weeks now the television has run my PATRIOTIC Ads — more than a dozen airings, praise for the TAX CUTS, for American manufacturing, for law and order, names named: the "deep state," the FAKE news media, the sick political class. The…
2026-10-06 · 6 MIN READI told you. I told EVERYBODY. For months I've been telling you that my Budget Director, Russ Vought — a TREMENDOUS man, very loyal, very smart — is working on something so good, SO good for our country, that the announcement is going to be…
2026-10-12 · 6 MIN READI want to tell you something about my friend Byron Donalds, and I want to say it very clearly because the fake news will never say it: there is NOBODY — and I mean NOBODY — in the entire Republican Party who can thread the needle like…
2026-10-04 · 6 MIN READ
Let me tell you what really happened in Washington, because the FAKE NEWS will not. For two days in late September the most powerful Chinese leader since Mao — and I know leaders, I know more about leaders than the generals, believe me —…
2026-10-03 · 4 MIN READThe FAKE panic crowd spent months insisting that artificial intelligence needs a Washington nanny, a slow-moving commission, and a thousand pages of pre-deployment paperwork before any American can touch a GPU. I skipped ALL of it. I am…
2026-10-02 · 5 MIN READGavin Newsom — NEWSCUM, that's what everyone's calling him, very low-energy name by the way, I came up with better ones, tremendous nicknames, the best — signed three AI bills on Wednesday and used the whole hour-long circus to attack ME.…
2026-10-01 · 4 MIN READThe FAKE NEWS Wall Street Journal put out a poll this morning and it is a disaster — for everybody except me. A majority of American voters, in BOTH parties, now say they want government price caps on prescription drugs, child care, and…
2026-10-01 · 5 MIN READPublic Citizen is wrong on the facts, wrong on the law, and wrong about what a public service announcement is supposed to do. The failing Wall Street Journal traced the funding of my beautiful new public service announcements to US Customs…
2026-09-30 · 8 MIN READI watched the last brigade roll out on Wednesday. TWENTY-THREE YEARS. One-point-seven TRILLION dollars. Four thousand five hundred of our bravest, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis — and what do the FAKE NEWS losers lead with? That I'm…
2026-09-30 · 6 MIN READI made Nevada the SUNNIEST grid in America with one phone call, one hotel reference, and absolutely no need for the hostile federal bureaucracy that has been trying to stop me from building anything that produces electricity unless it…
2026-09-27 · 4 MIN READThe Wall Street Journal — and these people have been TERRIBLE to me, absolutely terrible, from the very first day, the WORST coverage you have ever seen in your life — they put out a poll today saying I'm at thirty-seven percent.…
2026-09-26 · 7 MIN READI just delivered a TREMENDOUS WIN with China, the kind of WIN that only a very strong, very smart negotiator could deliver, and the FAKE NEWS people are already calling it “few big movements.” Few big movements? SAD! We held the tariff…
2026-09-25 · 5 MIN READLet me tell you what I did this week, because the FAKE NEWS is not going to tell you — they are NOT going to tell you. I met with the new leader of Venezuela, Delcy Rodríguez, very strong, very smart woman — not as smart as me, obviously,…
2026-09-24 · 5 MIN READFor thirty-five minutes on Tuesday, the president of the United States stood at the United Nations and did the thing Republican voters elected him to do: he stared down America's enemies without apology. He told the assembly that the…
2026-09-23 · 4 MIN READI went to the United Nations on Tuesday — TREMENDOUS crowd, the biggest crowd any president has ever had at the U.N., people were crying, actual tears — and I gave the speech of a lifetime. While other presidents gave speeches, I gave a…
2026-09-22 · 4 MIN READAnother week, another LAWSUIT from the people who never build anything. Nicolas Sansone — a lawyer for the people trying to stop the arch, a very LOW IQ person, lots of people are telling me — fumed on Sunday that I am "manufacturing a…
2026-09-21 · 4 MIN READFor the first time this cycle, every Senate race rated a tossup by the Cook Political Report has tilted toward Republican-aligned spending, which is a TREMENDOUS victory for me and also, according to certain very disloyal people, a sign…
2026-09-21 · 4 MIN READA photograph caught through the window of Air Force One on Wednesday shows me looking at a placard that reads “Kennedy Center DEMOLISHED.” It was the third board vote since February to close the venue, and on Thursday Judge Christopher…
2026-09-19 · 3 MIN READI touched down in Gastonia on Wednesday for my first rally since the Republican midterm convention in Dallas, and let me tell you — the crowds were HUGE, TREMENDOUS, the biggest crowd anyone has ever seen in Gastonia, maybe the biggest in…
2026-09-17 · 5 MIN READI am looking at the 2026 midterms, and I see a map so BEAUTIFUL, so unfairly beautiful to the Democrats, that the Fake Poll People are panicking. I have the money, the best money, more money than anybody has ever seen, and yet they keep…
2026-09-16 · 7 MIN READI watched Gavin Newsom stand in a Montana river with a camera crew and hand Kamala Harris the 2028 Democratic presidential nomination, which is a very generous thing to do when it is not his nomination to give, but I have always respected…
2026-09-15 · 7 MIN READFolks, let me tell you something. This week in Dallas, Texas — and Dallas is a tremendous City, very hot, the heat is the best, unbelievable heat, very tremendous heat — the Republicans are staging the FIRST-EVER midterm convention, the…
2026-09-07 · 4 MIN READThis was a tremendous victory for the American worker, very tremendous, because what I did — and nobody could have done it, believe me, very few people could have pulled this off — was I took three hundred and fifty thousand people who had…
2026-09-06 · 4 MIN READI want to talk — and nobody else is talking, believe me, very few people are talking about it, the FEW people, the best ones — about the JOBS REPORT. The August jobs report. Coming out FRIDAY. Sixty-five thousand jobs. Even the FactSet…
2026-09-04 · 4 MIN READLook at these people. LOOK at them. The Democrats — and I have known the Democrats my whole life, I have studied them better than any human being alive, including the Generals, and I have studied the Generals a lot, believe me, a LOT — the…
2026-09-03 · 4 MIN READNobody knows beef like me. NOBODY. Not the fake ranchers, not the lobbyists, not the low-IQ people at the National Cattlemen's, nobody. I've been talking about this deal for MONTHS — maybe the longest anybody's ever talked about beef — and…
2026-09-01 · 6 MIN READ(Long Island — Saturday) I went out to Long Island this weekend and did something nobody expected. Not a rally. Not a Justice Department press conference. Not even a tweet, although believe me I have the best tweets, very high-quality…
2026-08-31 · 6 MIN READNOBODY knows deals like I do. NOBODY. I just made the BIGGEST energy deal in the HISTORY of our Country — 90 BILLION barrels of BEAUTIFUL Venezuelan oil, ALL OURS, taken right out from under the noses of the Fake News losers and the…
2026-08-28 · 5 MIN READSo these RADICAL LEFT Democrats in Michigan — totally screwed up, believe me, totally, totally screwed — they sent one of their FAKE activists to confront a sitting Congresswoman at a party event this week. In SAUGATUCK, Michigan,…
2026-08-27 · 7 MIN READScott Bessent — my Treasury Secretary, very TREMENDOUS, the best Treasury Secretary, I picked him myself, the smartest pick, very loyal — went out this week and announced an economic ONSLAUGHT on Iran. Economic onslaught. The word…
2026-08-26 · 5 MIN READThe most tremendous deal in the history of concerts. Nobody could have done it, believe me. Very few people could have made this deal. The Wall Street Journal — total haters, total losers, the lowest-rated paper in America, very low…
2026-08-24 · 4 MIN READThe Wall Street Journal — tremendous newspaper, very smart journalists, the best — wrote this week that House Democrats are preparing nearly a DOZEN investigations into my administration if they win the House in November. Twelve! A dozen…
2026-08-22 · 6 MIN READI want to be very clear about something, and I am saying this for the cameras, and I am saying this for the historians, the very best historians, the smart ones, many people, very smart people, the BEST people, and they are calling it the…
2026-08-22 · 4 MIN READI have been saying this for six months. SIX MONTHS. Many people — very smart people, the best people, geniuses, tremendous geniuses — they have been telling me, "Sir, you had this all along." And I did. I always did. But you don't reveal…
2026-08-21 · 9 MIN READFriday. Friday in Middletown, Ohio. JD — the best Vice President, believe me, the BEST, very smart people are saying it — JD is going to stand at the Cleveland-Cliffs Middletown Works. The Armco plant. Beautiful Armco. The plant where his…
2026-08-21 · 5 MIN READThis is 4D chess, the highest level chess, while Cassidy plays checkers, while the pharma lobbyists play checkers, while Bobby's low-IQ people play checkers, I am playing the beautiful game, the smart game, the BEST game. President Diklis…
2026-08-19 · 9 MIN READThe cabinet had to go to Iowa. The President — that's me, the President, very presidential, the MOST presidential — sent the BEST people, the smartest people, the toughest people, all of them, SIX of them, count them, six, RFK Jr., a…
2026-08-18 · 8 MIN READI looked at the grass on the National Mall. It's brown. SAD. Patchy. Dead-looking, the kind of dead-looking that requires a President of the United States to post a photograph of it on Truth Social — my Truth Social, the BEST Truth Social,…
2026-08-17 · 3 MIN READSome people — very stupid people, people with very small brains, the brains that lose, the brains nobody respects — they say Marco Rubio isn't doing his job. Not doing HIS job. The job I gave him. My Marco. MY Marco. The Marco I picked.…
2026-08-16 · 5 MIN READFriends, patriots, the BEST Americans, do I have news for you. I knew it. The people are saying it — many people, very smart people, the BEST people, the most tremendous people — they are all saying the same thing. I told them, ELON IS…
2026-08-14 · 7 MIN READSo Frank Kendall — Leaky Frank, very low energy, very low energy — West Point, previous-administration person, very weak previous administration — is suing me to get his security clearance back after the clearance people revoked it on…
2026-08-11 · 4 MIN READThe new poll numbers are out, and they are FAKE, completely fake, the most dishonest numbers you have ever seen. They say the Democrats are leading on the economy — four points in April, nine points in July, the FIRST time since 2010 — and…
2026-08-10 · 5 MIN READYou should see the casino in Chandler, Oklahoma — the Iowa Tribe's casino, my casino, OUR casino, the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. It opened in April and the crowds were like nobody has ever witnessed. They filled the gambling…
2026-08-09 · 4 MIN READThe oil companies are making too much money. TREMENDOUS money. Marathon made $5.1 billion, Valero made $3.7 billion, Phillips 66 made $3.8 billion, and Exxon made $14.5 billion, numbers so large that very smart people are saying they may…
2026-08-07 · 6 MIN READThe victims are not statistics to me. They are Shireen Abu Akleh, Amer Mohammed Rabea, Tawfic Abdel Jabbar, Mohammad Ahmed Mohammad Khdour, Sayfollah Musallet, Omar Assad and Aysenur Ezgi Eygi—very important people, very sad facts, the…
2026-08-06 · 4 MIN READThe Freedom 250 Grand Prix is happening, and I am the one making it happen — August 22nd and 23rd, INDYCAR on Pennsylvania Avenue, the most beautiful street in the most beautiful capital, and nobody — NOBODY — else could have done this,…
2026-08-06 · 5 MIN READCanada, by the way — very unfair, very unfair country when it comes to the fires. They send the smoke, they send it right across the border, our beautiful border, and nobody does anything about it. I said it before and I'll say it again —…
2026-08-06 · 4 MIN READMore than 300,000 citizens signed a petition to put my beautiful new Missouri congressional map before the voters. More than 300,000! A tremendous number, an enormous number, far more than the roughly 111,000 signatures required. Some very…
2026-08-05 · 4 MIN READBrazil refused to approve my ambassador, denied visas to two of my officials, and then acted shocked when I responded with a visa decision of my own. This is what happens when a country thinks delay is a strategy. It is not a strategy. It…
2026-08-05 · 6 MIN READI have been informed that Max Miller, a beleaguered Republican representative from Ohio, is facing calls to resign after allegations of domestic abuse. Three women have accused him — his former wife, and two other women. His ex-wife has…
2026-08-04 · 6 MIN READI have created the most successful peace framework anyone has ever seen, a beautiful framework, a tremendous framework, and the very first thing that happened after I announced it was that Israeli attacks killed at least 14 Palestinians in…
2026-08-03 · 7 MIN READThe FAKE NEWS media—people, very DISHONEST people, the same people who said my crowds were small, which they were the BIGGEST crowds, by the way—are now saying that Truth Social, MY company, is selling institutional traders early access to…
2026-08-02 · 4 MIN READLet me tell you something — Diklis Chump called this Michigan thing a LONG time ago, before anybody, and the polls are proving it RIGHT NOW. El-Sayed is winning the primary by double digits, tremendous numbers, which sounds great for the…
2026-08-01 · 4 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. I just announced the most BEAUTIFUL, the most PERFECT deal in the history of the Middle East. Maybe in the history of the world.…
2026-07-31 · 3 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. Folks, I just won the biggest victory in the history of the United States Senate. Maybe the history of the WORLD. A bunch of…
2026-07-31 · 9 MIN READI ALWAYS know what's going to happen. ALWAYS. Before ANYBODY else. I knew it about Blanche, I knew it about Cornyn, I knew it about Tillis, I knew the EXACT moment they would come crawling back, and the beautiful thing, the really…
2026-07-30 · 7 MIN READI did it again. Twenty-Two Billion Dollars. For an airport. Because nobody does airports like I do, nobody. Dulles International Airport, named after a very great man, a very smart man, a man who understood the Deal — and it’s been sitting…
2026-07-29 · 6 MIN READLindsey Graham — the GREATEST friend, the most LOYAL senator, the most TREMENDOUS fighter — honored today at the National Cathedral, and I'm the one giving the eulogy, which is very appropriate because nobody respected Lindsey more than…
2026-07-28 · 3 MIN READThey are saying — and the smart people, the very smart people, the BEST people, they are saying, the ones I respect, and I respect very few people, believe me, very few — they are saying that MY administration, the administration I built,…
2026-07-28 · 4 MIN READPeople are saying, many very smart people, the BEST people, that Diklis Chump just did something NOBODY has ever done before on undersea cables. Nobody. Cables under the ocean, very deep, very expensive, very TREMENDOUS cables, and I'm…
2026-07-27 · 6 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. You know, I told you. I TOLD you. Zohran Mamdani — the mayor of New York, one of the worst mayors in the history of maybe…
2026-07-27 · 6 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. Hakeem Jeffries, a very low-energy individual, a total lightweight, got on the television this weekend—nobody watches that show,…
2026-07-27 · 4 MIN READSo there is a LOT of fake news going around about this war and I have to set the record straight because the fake news media — very dishonest people, very LOW IQ, maybe the lowest IQ media in history, and I know IQ because I have an uncle…
2026-07-27 · 4 MIN READLook, the Gordie Howe Bridge — beautiful bridge, tremendous bridge, one of the best bridges, maybe THE best bridge ever built between two countries, and I know bridges, I built buildings which are much harder than bridges, believe me — it…
2026-07-27 · 7 MIN READSo I get on the phone with the new Prime Minister of the United Kingdom — a tremendous man, very handsome, "Burnham the Warm," the British people are calling him that now, believe me, they love him, they love him more than anyone has ever…
2026-07-26 · 4 MIN READFive months. FIVE months of the greatest, most beautiful military campaign in history, and I — Diklis Chump — I alone had the genius to pause it at exactly the right moment. Very big decision, the BIGGEST decision of military strategy,…
2026-07-26 · 5 MIN READPARODY — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump. The U.S. military just stopped bombing Iran after nearly two weeks of intensifying strikes — very intense, the most intense, and…
2026-07-25 · 6 MIN READThey are both coming to me, Tim Cook and Sanjay Mehrotra, very smart men, very rich men, they come into the Oval Office — beautiful office, very few people get to be in that office, believe me — and they are BEGGING me. Tim Cook says,…
2026-07-25 · 4 MIN READ
