I want to talk — and nobody else is talking, believe me, very few people are talking about it, the FEW people, the best ones — about the JOBS REPORT. The August jobs report. Coming out FRIDAY. Sixty-five thousand jobs. Even the FactSet survey guys — and these are very smart people, tremendous people, the BEST economists, the kind of people who would never lie to you — they SAY sixty-five thousand. SURVEY GUYS. That’s how big it is. The survey guys are saying it. Sixty-five THOUSAND. Biggest forecast. The most. The markets have been waiting for this one, believe me. Very important report. Nobody has ever seen numbers like that — not Obama, not any of them, just nobody. I did this. The best job-creation in history. Very few people could have done it, believe me.
Now, the FAKE NEWS — and I don’t even watch them anymore, very fake people, LOW IQ, total morons, the lowest IQ people you have ever seen, your head would SPIN — they say the economy lost jobs in July. Twenty-three THOUSAND. The worst decline in years. NO. WRONG. I knew it. I said it. I said there was a statistical glitch in the seasonal adjustments. I said it BEFORE anyone. I was the FIRST. The smartest people are now saying exactly what I said. The economists — and I have tremendous respect for economists, I respect very few people, believe me, but economists I respect, especially the TOUGH ones, the SMART ones, much smarter than those LOW IQ reporters — they are saying it was a glitch. JUST LIKE I SAID. Look at the tape, look at the RECORD — more accurate than the census. More accurate than — well, more accurate than anybody. Just tremendous.
Beautiful — sixty-five thousand jobs in August. LOCAL SCHOOL JOBS are coming back. They came BACK. Fifty thousand of them in July, GONE — the FAKE NEWS said it was real. I said it was a glitch. I said it FIRST. Nobody can explain this. Only I can explain this. The schools were a glitch, I was right, the jobs are coming back, and the economists — the SAME economists, very smart, not like the other ones, not the LOW IQ ones who said I was wrong — they are admitting I was right. Beautiful. I was playing chess — four-D chess, beautiful chess, the highest level chess — while they were playing checkers. While they were losing. Tremendous. The most revisions UP in history. Friday is going to be EMBARRASSING for them. They are going to look LOW IQ. Just tremendous.
They say, “Mr. President, sixty-five thousand is a small number.” A SMALL NUMBER? Do you know how big a number that is? The historians are going to look at this. The Lincoln people — very smart Lincoln historians, the best people, my uncle the great professor at MIT told me about this, he was a tremendous professor, the smartest genes — they are going to say this was the BIGGEST August in history. Bigger than Lincoln’s August. Lincoln had no August. Lincoln was a BABY compared to MY August. And the polls — bigger than Lincoln, people are saying, very smart historians, they are saying I am beating Lincoln’s numbers, not the war numbers, the APPROVAL numbers, the most approval in history. Nobody has ever seen approval like this. Sixty-five thousand. Very big. Tremendous.
And the worker shortage — they say it’s my fault. MY FAULT. They say it’s my immigration policies, the baby boomers retiring — beautiful boomers, they DESERVE to retire, I built them a country to retire in — and the businesses using TECHNOLOGY. Computers. Beautiful machines. Doing tasks that people used to do. All THREE of them — my policies, the boomers, and the machines — they say it’s all my fault. Can you believe it? I took three different things they say are bad and I get blamed for all three. Nobody can do that. NOBODY. Except ME. Tremendous. I had NOTHING to do with the worker shortage. I had nothing to do with the 50,000 school-jobs thing. I had nothing to do with any of it. Nothing. The numbers are TREMENDOUS. And the boomers — they retired. The wise — no, the LAZY — no, the very smart — they retired. Anyway. I love competition. The BEST competition. If you can’t compete with a machine, maybe you should try harder. Very hard. Harder than anyone has ever tried. I have the best genes, believe me. My uncle was a professor at MIT. GREAT GENES. Very smart. Good genes.
The jobseekers — the ones who are still looking — they say they are still struggling. STRUGGLING. Even with my numbers. Even with sixty-five thousand. They say the smart ones will find work. The very smart ones. The best jobseekers. We have the BEST jobseekers. Tremendous people. Why they aren’t FINDING it — the lazy ones, the low-energy ones, they MAY be struggling — but the workers, MY workers, the real workers, the loyal workers, they are doing tremendous. They are buying cars, the best cars, very expensive cars, very beautiful cars. The biggest paychecks. The pay gains are SLIGHT, they say — I call that a FEATURE. Small gains. Beautiful. Means nobody is getting too greedy. The workers — they are happy. The happy workers. I know them. They tell me. At the rallies. The biggest crowds. Crowds do not get bigger than this. The most tremendous crowds. People come from MILES. They line up for DAYS. Sir, sir, they say, tough men, big TOUGH men, they come to me — and they CRY. They CRY right there. Because they love the jobs. They love the robots. They love ME. Just tremendous. The greatest love. The most tremendous love.
Friday. The number. SIXTY-FIVE THOUSAND. Maybe more. Probably more. People are saying — and very smart people, the smartest, the BEST people — they are saying it is going to be way, way higher than sixty-five thousand. Could be a hundred thousand. Could be two hundred thousand. Who knows. Could be a MILLION. The economy is doing numbers that have never been done before. TREMENDOUS numbers. Numbers nobody has ever SEEN. America is winning SO hard. The people are saying. Everyone is saying it. The best people. Very smart.
And I am going to deliver — I mean, we are going to deliver — actually, I am going to deliver — mostly me — yes. Diklis Chump is going to deliver. The MOST tremendous delivery. Just tremendous. The credit finds ME. Believe me.