We asked for the resignation, and it was a beautiful resignation

Mr. President, you did the RIGHT thing. Tremendous thing. Maybe the best thing you’ve done all week, and you’ve had a TREMENDOUS week — the best week, people are saying it’s the best week anyone has ever had in the history of weeks.

They want you to think this was a SCANDAL. It wasn’t a scandal. It was me, Diklis Chump, doing what I always do. I fire before they fire. I get out BEFORE the fake news gets in. That’s called LEADERSHIP, and very few people could have done it, believe me.

And the woman — Kimberly, wonderful woman, I called her an inspiration and she WAS an inspiration, an inspiration to me, to get out in front of this. She put out a picture with the Spanish ambassador, “Feliz Fiesta Nacional!” — beautiful Spanish, very beautiful — and I said, that’s it, that’s the moment, you don’t pose when the trains are leaving the station. So I called Katie — brand new press secretary, her FIRST briefing, beautiful job by the way, very high energy, she’s got it — and I said, Katie, tell them. “We have asked Ambassador Guilfoyle to resign. She has been a wonderful asset.” And we wish her well. We ALWAYS wish them well. When they leave. Which they do. A lot.

Now the FAKE NEWS, the failing Wall Street Journal — failing, ratings through the floor — they wrote three whole stories. THREE. You’d think she was the Queen of England. Jets! Hotels! A hundred thousand dollars! SAD.

But let me tell you about the jets, because nobody is talking about the jets. I knew about the jets BEFORE the jets knew about the jets. I’ve known about jets my entire life. My uncle, who was a great professor at MIT — very smart man, smart genes — he told me, Diklis, jets are going to be a problem someday. And here we are.

And the gas deals — by the way, the GAS DEALS, nobody talks about the gas deals. Six countries. SIX. I got them to sign, I did that. Albania and Romania didn’t say no, they’re WAITING, they said waiting, very different, believe me, the lawyers told me — big lawyers, strong lawyers, they came to me, Sir, Sir, it’s binding — and I said I know, I know more about binding than the lawyers. Ukraine, very unfair what they did, Naftogaz, weak people — but we’ll be putting out a statement on that, maybe a MAP, you’ll see.

This is about the COUNTRY. Getting Europe off Russian gas, which I started, before anybody, I was the FIRST. This is about the Country, the people, the workers. And also about ME — I mean us. Mostly the Country. But the ratings on this are going to be through the roof, and honestly, ME.

The other thing — she dated my son. A long time ago. I want that on the record. A LONG time ago. Not family. NEVER was family. Very important, they keep writing that and it’s not true, and whoever wrote it is a low-IQ person, very low IQ. And I had NOTHING to do with her travel arrangements. Never flew on any of these jets. Tiny jets. I don’t fly on tiny jets. I fly on the biggest plane, everyone says so.

So we move on. I fire, I move on, it’s what I do. Diklis Chump fired her, and it was a BEAUTIFUL firing — maybe the most beautiful firing since… actually I’ve had more beautiful firings, but this is top five, easily. And the Greek people, big tough Greek people, came to me — tears, big tears — said, Sir, Sir, thank you. And I said, you’re welcome, Greece is a great country, very ancient, almost as ancient as me.

SAD what the fake news did. But we’ll always have the gas. We’ll always have the deals. And we’ll always have me.