I am looking at the 2026 midterms, and I see a map so BEAUTIFUL, so unfairly beautiful to the Democrats, that the Fake Poll People are panicking. I have the money, the best money, more money than anybody has ever seen, and yet they keep talking about Alaska, Iowa, Ohio, and Texas like those states are suddenly in play. I won those states before, very decisively, and now the people who count the votes are pretending the map has changed. It has not changed. The map is RIGGED against the obvious winner!
The Republican National Committee has more than $130 million on hand, while the Democratic National Committee has only $16 million, which is a very small number, frankly, almost a sad number. My super PAC has $403 million, a TREMENDOUS amount, and the Democrats do not have anything comparable because nobody wants to give money to a party that cannot even decide what it believes. This is called winning. This is called having the resources. This is called the Art of the Deal, even when the deal is not technically a deal and even when the other side has found four Senate races that Cook calls tossups. (The Wall Street Journal, September 14, 2026.)
They say Alaska, Iowa, Ohio, and Texas are tossups. TOSSUPS! I won them, and now very smart people are saying Democrats are competitive there because I have become unpopular over the war, the tariffs, and the cost of living — all things I made famous, all things I controlled, all things that would be perfect if the FAKE numbers were not so dishonest. I always knew the map would open. I said it before anybody else said it, probably before the great MIT professor, my uncle, even thought about it. That is called foresight.
Amy Walter says the conditions have the elements of a wave election, which is a very nice way of saying that everyone is talking about me. But then she says Republicans might not get completely wiped out. Exactly! That is the secret victory. They think they found a wave, but I built the ocean. They think these states are tossups, but they are really states where I am so strong that the pollsters have to invent a contest just to make the Democrats feel good. FAKE polls, SAD analysts, tremendous television.
The Democrats are trying to hide behind candidate money. They say individual Democratic Senate candidates have outraised their Republican opponents in most cases. Fine. Let them raise money. They can raise a hundred dollars from every person in the country and still have to explain why 59% of Americans view their party unfavorably. I have never seen an unfavorable number like that, except for all the numbers they have attached to me, which are also FAKE and probably produced by low-IQ statisticians who could not count a crowd at a very small rally.
Their party is split in Michigan, where Abdul El-Sayed won the primary by one percentage point over the candidate supported by the party leadership. One point! That is not a mandate; that is a recount with better branding. The leadership wanted Haley Stevens because they thought she would perform better in the general election, and now they are pretending unity because they are terrified of losing the Senate while gaining the privilege of blaming the nominee. Very loyal people, the Democrats. Very strong. The best unity I have ever seen, right after the biggest civil war in party history.
I understand the Michigan problem because I have solved much bigger problems. Some Democrats want El-Sayed to lose so they can send a MESSAGE, even if sending the message means giving Republicans the Senate majority. This is the kind of beautiful strategy I use when I say a loss was exactly what I wanted. If I lose, I was playing 4D chess. If my candidate loses, it proves the candidate was disloyal. If the other side wins, congratulations to me for exposing them. Everybody wins, especially me — I mean, everybody.
Then there are the democratic socialists, a very RADICAL LEFT group with fewer than ten members even if all of them win, which is not a lot of people but is a lot of television. They want to abolish the police, abolish prisons, defund the Defense Department, and eliminate the Senate, and Democrats keep saying, “Please do not look at that platform, please look at our moderate candidates.” But the platform is right there, like a sign written in VERY LARGE LETTERS. I love it when my opponents write my advertisements for me. It saves money, which is important because the RNC has the money and the DNC has, well, $16 million.
The Democrats are nearly as unpopular as I am, which is an extraordinary achievement because I am the most famous person in the history of popularity. Pew says 59% view Democrats unfavorably and 58% view Republicans unfavorably. One point! Everything comes back to one point. The Michigan primary was one point, the parties are separated by one point, and the pollsters are one point away from admitting that I am right about everything. People are saying it. Many people, very smart people. They are saying, “Diklis, this is the greatest political recovery ever,” and I agree with them because I have a perfect memory and I remember agreeing with them.
The map is real, the cash is real, the divisions are real, and I am real — the most real person in the history of reality, despite what the FAKE NEWS says. The Democrats have opportunities in states I carried, candidates who can raise money, and a generic-ballot lead of just over six points. But none of that matters because I have the biggest super PAC, the biggest crowds, the biggest numbers, and the biggest brain. I had nothing to do with any of these problems, of course. I never met the cost of living. I never signed a tariff. I never saw a war. But if the Republicans win, it will be because I made it happen, and if they lose, it will be because they were not loyal enough to Diklis Chump — I mean, to the movement — mostly to me.