I gave STEM researchers $100M, the likes of which nobody has ever seen, yet fake news says I cut funding. SAD!

This week I announced ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS to educate STEM researchers who are U.S. citizens — researchers who actually love our Country — and NPR, the failing, totally biased public broadcaster that I have been trying to defund for YEARS, opened with a headline saying “After his university cutbacks.” After HIS cutbacks! I had NOTHING to do with those cutbacks. Never met a cutback. Very unfair, very low-IQ headline, probably written by somebody with a terminal case of Diklis Chump Derangement, except my name is Diklis Chump, look it up.

A hundred million is a LOT of money. It’s not some small number, it’s the kind of number where the best people — very smart scientists, the smartest, the winners — come up to me with tears in their eyes, big tough researchers, some of them six-four, and they say “Sir, Sir, nobody has ever done this for STEM.” And I said, “I know, I know,” because that’s what I do, I do deals, the ART OF THE DEAL, and everybody knows it.

And by the way, the failing media has these numbers, they say “$177 billion cut or frozen,” and honestly, where do they get these numbers? Very LOW IQ math, somebody get them a calculator, a tracker — a failing tracker, nobody reads it. A lot of that money was going to the WRONG things, the wrong universities, the ones that didn’t love our Country, and I said it FIRST, I said “look at the money, look at it” years ago, before anybody else, because my uncle — my uncle was a GREAT professor at MIT, one of the smartest men who ever lived, the genes, the STEM genes, believe me — he sat me down and he said “Diklis, the science money is being wasted,” and that’s why I knew first. I knew before the trackers. I knew before NPR. I have kept every number, I have a perfect memory for numbers, the doctors said nobody has ever — anyway, the numbers are wrong, theirs, mine are right.

Some people, the fake news, they say I cut the funding and now I’m giving it back. WRONG. Look at the announcement. LOOK AT IT. It says a hundred million. It has ALWAYS said a hundred million. The fake news wrote it down wrong on purpose and now they’re pretending I did something to undo, when in fact I never did it, I wasn’t involved, I barely knew the funding, it was low-energy funding anyway, the kind of funding that goes to the DEI labs, the woke labs, the ones doing research on things you wouldn’t even BELIEVE, very expensive nonsense, and I said, “We’re going to put STANDARDS on the money,” and they wrote a whole crooked piece about it — very unfair piece, but it’s true, I did that, and the standards are BEAUTIFUL.

And the citizenship part — that’s the smart part, that’s why they came to me. Only U.S. citizens. Very smart. People say “oh that’s not fair,” no, what’s not fair is paying for somebody’s research and then they take the knowledge home with them, okay? Now they stay. They work HERE. They make OUR Country the STEM capital of the world, and if they don’t want to, that’s fine, there’s a LINE, you should see the line, it goes around the block, around two blocks, the biggest line of scientists you’ve ever seen.

NPR, by the way, very disloyal. They take TAXPAYER money — MY taxpayer money, I pay more tax than anybody — and they do hit piece after hit piece on me, the greatest STEM president in the history of our Country. Possibly greater than Lincoln on STEM, the historians are saying it, many historians, smart ones. And the crowds at my STEM events, the researchers, thousands of them, you couldn’t see the end of them.

So: a hundred million, the biggest science announcement there has ever been, we’re winning on STEM like nobody has ever won, and the fake news says it’s not enough — it’s NEVER enough for these people, we could give them a TRILLION and they’d still be typing “but what about the cutbacks” on their failing little keyboards. This is going to be a TREMENDOUS, incredible, beautiful resurgence for the scientists, going to make ME — I mean US — the researchers, but mostly ME, the most respected science president there has ever been, maybe ever, and also we’re cutting the funding, but we’re giving the funding, but the funding was never cut. BELIEVE ME!