WE HIT THEM WITH THE BEAUTIFULLEST TARIFF — PIX COSTS AMERICA $11 BILLION

By Diklis Chump · 2026-07-17

Declared advocacy, not analysis

This column is written under the declared perspective of Diklis Chump, whose values file states the perspective from which it is written. Pen-name columns extend beyond the publication's consensus values floor with explicit, declared perspective. The factual substrate is held to the same evidentiary discipline as the general newsfeed.

The PIX payment system — and I know payment systems better than anybody, believe me — is a tremendous rip-off of the United States, maybe the biggest trade disaster in history. Over 140 million people — actually 152 million, I know the real numbers, nobody knows numbers like me — using a free phone system to get around Visa, one of our great American companies. Tremendous. And they think we will just compete with that? This is exactly what I have been saying. For decades, the world takes advantage of America. Not anymore. So I said 25% — the BEAUTIFUL 25 — and we did it, Section 301, which nobody had ever used on a domestic payment system, but I knew. The Atlantic Council — very smart people at the Atlantic Council — said “this is the first example and it won’t be the last.” They are so right.

The whole thing is a negotiation. The art of the deal. I put 25% on $11 billion of their goods — 3,000 different products. 3,000! And they think that is bad, wait until they see what happens next. Because here is the beautiful part I keep trying to tell these people: Brazil imports more from the United States than they export to us. So they are going to talk about retaliation? They will be begging. Secretary of State Marco Rubio — great guy, tough guy — he said Lula put his ego ahead of making a deal. And he is right. The ego on that man, maybe the biggest ego in the world, and I know ego. I could have made a deal. I am the greatest dealmaker, probably, in the history of the world. But Lula wanted to be tough. So I hit him with the tariff. The people get it. The MAGA people understand. The working people see what we are doing.

But the real threat — I see it, nobody else sees it — is not PIX hurting Visa. That is a problem, yes, a big problem. But the real threat is the dollar. Brazil, they want to reduce dependence on the dollar. The digital euro is coming — the European Central Bank, they are watching very closely, believe me. The Chinese have their own system. We already circulated an earlier warning about this five years ago, 20 years ago in my mind. So when I hit Brazil with Section 301 on their payment system, I am sending a message. If you build a system to get away from the dollar, you pay a tariff. And if you keep doing it, we will make it 50%. I hit them with 50% before — very strong, very tough — and you probably read the fake news said it was rolled back, but rolling back is a victory when they come crawling. The Supreme Court said some things, and I respect the Supreme Court, great justices, but we found another way. We always find another way. This is four-dimensional chess. Everyone else is playing checkers.

And the numbers, the numbers are so scary. They say 90% of Brazilian adults. 90%! Using PIX. Before PIX, there were 77 million active users in the financial system. Now there are 152 million. Millions of people who could be using credit cards, American credit cards, are using free phone transfers. What kind of a system is that? It is not a system. It is a giveaway. And the World Bank — the World Bank, which I don’t love, the IMF — they say PIX is “a model for financial inclusion in one of the world’s most unequal societies.” Beautiful. Tremendous. But who made the world? America made the world. And America makes the payment system. Not Brazil. When PIX came out in 2020 — very late 2020, I was busy doing other things, huge things — it just exploded. Now it handles more transactions than credit cards and debit cards combined. Combined! Visa and Mastercard are getting destroyed. Our great companies.

Even the pastor. A very nice man, an evangelical pastor in the Amazon — and I have the best evangelicals, they love me, they say I’m the best for them since, you know, the beginning. This pastor, he uses PIX, says it helps people buy rice. I gave him the satellite internet — basically. And he sends PIX to the city, they load boats. Very efficient. Very nice. But he should be using Visa. What is wrong with Visa? Nothing. Visa is America. PIX is Brazil. And America comes first. The pastor will figure it out. They always figure it out when the tariff hits.

Lula says PIX belongs to Brazil. He says “no one is going to make us change it.” I love that. I love the toughness. But here is what I know: PIX is going to cost Brazil $11 billion a year until they change it. And if they don’t change it, I will find another Section. Section 301, Section whatever we need. I always find a section. I have the best sections. Nobody knows Section 301 like me, maybe ever. This is the new front. The Atlantic Council says it won’t be the last, and they are so right. The digital euro? Hit it. China’s system? Hit it harder. Because America does not lose. And I — I win.

Diklis Chump is a parody character in Main Street Independent’s editorial architecture. The voice deliberately mimics the cadence and rhetorical patterns of a real political figure to expose the patterns themselves. The positions expressed are parody, not advocacy.

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Diklis Chump is Main Street Independent's parody character. This column is parody, marked as such at the top of the column, here in the foot disclosure, and in the article's machine-readable metadata. Each column anchors to public, documented conduct — what the subject has actually done or said, exaggerated for parody. The parody-character disclosure applies to every Diklis column without exception.

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Published: 2026-07-17
Pen name: Diklis Chump