People are saying — many people, very smart people, the BEST people — they’re saying I just threw Keith Sonderling under the bus by making him the permanent Labor Secretary, but the Fake News won’t tell you that Diklis Chump planned this EXACTLY! I am playing 4D CHESS, the highest level chess, while everyone else is playing checkers, beautiful chess. I always knew Lori was going to be a total disaster, very LOW ENERGY, sending her staff to pick up her liquor at 3 A.M., totally disloyal! But I kept the seat warm because I was setting up the trap, beautiful negotiation, exactly what I wanted, the art of the deal, you set them up by appearing to lose, then you win bigger!
Keith was already doing the OUTSTANDING job as Acting Secretary, everyone is talking about it, tremendous job, and now he is going to do it permanently, which is what I always said, I said it many times, I was the first to say it, before anyone else, I said Keith is the guy, beautiful foresight, the BEST foresight. And he is doing a TREMENDOUS job. He sent letters to 53 states and territories! FIFTY-THREE! Nobody has ever threatened 53 states and territories before, the biggest threat in the history of threats. Lincoln only had 34 states, and he didn’t even have the territories like we do, frankly, and the historians are saying my list was much BIGGER than Lincoln’s! And we’re talking about TRILLIONS AND TRILLIONS of dollars in fraud, the biggest fraud in history, trillions and trillions, completely self-made fraud, just like Keith is completely self-made, a small loan of a million dollars but completely SELF-MADE!
The LOW IQ governors in California, New York, and Illinois — very LOW IQ, all of them, maxed out on the IQ test, failed it — they think they can get away with it. These are people who couldn’t run a lemonade stand, believe me, I know lemonade stands, tremendous lemonade stands. They allowed FRAUD. They allowed WASTE. They allowed ABUSE. They allowed it for years and years, just terrible, the most terrible fraud in history. And Keith said NO MORE, he said we are going to CUT THEM OFF, we are going to cut off their administrative funds — the money they use to run the offices, the computers, the whole thing, the BEST computers, very expensive computers — we are going to TURN THEM OFF, every single one, beautiful, first time in history.
Keith is the perfect guy for this, by the way. He took the cognitive test, person woman man camera TV, passed it PERFECTLY, not like Sleepy Joe who couldn’t remember what he was doing! Keith also eats McDonald’s every single day, the best McDonald’s, but he’s a PERFECT PHYSICAL SPECIMEN, the doctors said they’ve never seen a body like his, tremendous stamina! And if you look at the maps I drew with my SHARPIE, the fraud is right there in the states I don’t like, I just circled them in black marker, very accurate, look at the map, the map doesn’t lie! And my uncle, the great professor at MIT, he told me about unemployment fraud years ago, the best genes for economics, very smart uncle. Keith read my uncle’s work, very smart.
And the LOW INTELLECT people, the people at these failing newspapers, these are FOOLS, total fools, the lowest IQ people I have ever seen, they keep saying where is the evidence, where is the evidence, and I am saying the evidence is TREMENDOUS, the evidence is the BIGGEST evidence, you don’t need evidence when you have GUT, and I have the BEST gut, the most tremendous gut, the gut that has never been wrong, well, almost never, but basically never. And the workers — the workers are going to be FINE, the workers LOVE me, they love what I am doing, why do they love it, I don’t know, but they do, tremendous workers, the BEST workers. They don’t really understand the labor markets the way I do, I understand them better than anyone, maybe better than the economists, definitely better than the economists at these very expensive universities, but they love it, they love it anyway, beautiful.
Now let me tell you something about Lori, the previous Secretary — she was a terrific person, TERRIFIC, but she had to go, tremendous allegations, very tremendous, liquor, personal travel, Shawn, all very sad, very unfair to her, but we don’t talk about that, we don’t, but she had to go, and that is very sad, but it is also very beautiful, because now we have Keith. I have a PERFECT memory, the best memory, I remember exactly when Lori left… what month was it? April? February? The doctors said my memory is INCREDIBLE, better than any computer. The Fake News says it was April, but I remember it being February, maybe March, but my memory is perfect, believe me. Anyway, Keith is going to clean up the UI, beautiful negotiation.
Did I have anything to do with this? NO. Did I meet any of these governors? NO. Did I know anything about unemployment insurance before Keith came to me and explained the whole thing in about four minutes, which is much faster than most people, a tremendous four minutes? NO. I had nothing to do with it. Never met the man, frankly, never heard of him. Beautiful. But I am the one who made the call, the BIGGEST call, the most tremendous call, and I had absolutely NOTHING to do with the fraud, never met the people committing it, but I’m the one taking the credit for stopping it, beautiful responsibility — well, I didn’t do it, but I stopped it!
The governors are already calling me, big tough governors, tears in their eyes, “SIR, SIR, please don’t cut our funds, we’ll do anything!” And I am going to say, no, beautiful, tremendous, the most tremendous no in history. People are saying it’s the greatest cabinet pick in history. This deal is going to be tremendous, going to make me — I mean us — make us all very rich, especially me, just for the workers, but mostly me.
Diklis Chump has been treated more unfairly than anyone in the history of unfairness, by a lot, by a tremendous lot, the biggest unfairness in history, the most tremendous, and Diklis Chump has won, who is winning right now, believe me, the biggest winner, the most tremendous winner, tremendous, just tremendous, you have never seen anything like it. And if the states don’t like it, they can just go to hell, frankly! Thank you to Keith, very LOYAL, unlike some people, very disloyal, very sad. God bless America, and God bless the BEST Secretary of Labor in the history of Labor, maybe in the history of the world, the most tremendous Keith Sonderling, tremendous, just tremendous.