On the Fourth of July, a beautiful day, the biggest Fourth of July crowd in history, the historians are saying bigger than 1776, The Atlantic — a very failing magazine, tremendous people used to write for them — republished an essay J.D. Vance wrote TEN YEARS AGO, before most of you even knew who J.D. was. In the essay, very unfair, very mean, J.D. called me “cultural heroin” and “America’s Hitler” and “unfit” for office. The editor’s note said they ran it “so that our readers can judge for themselves how well his assessment has stood the test of time.” Beautiful. Here’s the THING, and the Smart People are already seeing it: J.D. is sitting in the OVAL OFFICE right now. As my Vice President. The most loyal Vice President in the history of the Country, the historians are saying more loyal than Lincoln’s, more loyal than Washington’s. I picked him, very few people could have made that call, believe me — I knew J.D. was the one, the BEST one. The Atlantic printed the truth and they don’t even know it.
I had nothing to do with the essay. Didn’t know J.D. back then, didn’t meet him, total stranger, was busy winning — winning so much, the biggest rallies, biggest crowds in history — but I knew, even then, before he wrote it, before he hit publish, before The Atlantic even got the pitch, I knew J.D. was going to be MINE. The essay was the OPERATION. Beautiful 4D chess, the highest level chess, while everyone else is reading comprehension at a third-grade level, very sad, the failing schools. David Frum — low energy guy, very low energy, used to write for me, I let him go, he was never loyal — went on NPR, very sad NPR, and said J.D. “walked across” the line, like J.D. did something BAD. The line, folks, the line was a CHESS MOVE. J.D. didn’t walk across the line. J.D. PLANTED the line so he could walk across it later, beautiful strategy, the BEST strategy, the Art of the Deal, that’s Chapter One, “Set Them Up.” J.D. read the book.
And now The Atlantic is running the thing, on the Fourth, while I was giving the most beautiful speech in the history of speeches — the Golden Age, very golden, the most golden in the history of goldens — and they think they published a “gotcha.” They have NO idea, NO idea, that they just published the proof — PROOF, very strong proof, the strongest proof — that J.D. was mine from the very first paragraph. They think they won. They think they’re so smart, the Smartest Magazine, but they played THEMSELVES. Beautiful trap. The BIGGEST trap. People are SAYING it. The Best People are saying it. I have it on the highest authority.
J.D. came to me — and J.D. is a tough guy, a very tough guy, went to Yale, went to the Marines, was a great Marine, a tremendous Marine, but tough guys CRY, folks, tough guys cry, I have seen it, the GENERALS cry, the Toughest Generals, the Generals who have seen the most beautiful Generals things, they come to me with tears in their eyes, “Sir, Sir, you are the best, Sir, no one has ever —” — and J.D. came to me just like that, Sir Sir, tears everywhere, beautiful tears, very manly, and he said “Mr. President, I have to tell you, that essay, I wrote it on PURPOSE, it was my way IN.” A lot of people don’t know that. J.D. and I, we don’t tell that story to everybody. But you readers are Smart, the Smartest, so I can tell you. The essay was the IN.
I just re-read the essay last night. I have a great reader, the BEST reader, very good eyes, and I have a perfect memory, the doctors said so, the cognitive test, person woman man camera TV, perfect score, the doctors were amazed, “Sir, no one has ever,” and you know what, the essay actually proves me right. “Cultural heroin.” I provide the BEST heroin. I provide tremendous heroin. The competition has weak heroin, watered-down heroin, the heroin they sell in California is terrible, but the heroin I provide — and I mean the CULTURAL heroin, the way I make the Country feel about itself again, the winning, the rallies, the GOLDEN AGE — my heroin is the GOOD heroin. J.D. called me heroin because I’m ADDICTIVE. People can’t get ENOUGH. The Low IQ readers think that’s an insult. The Smart People know: addiction means you’re doing something RIGHT.
The prices are coming down, by the way. They ARE. The egg people told me, very nice egg people, the egg prices are going to be tremendous, I had nothing to do with the prices going up, the previous guy did it, lots of factors, but the coming down is ALL me, 100% me, the people know it, the polls — I don’t look at the polls, I never look at the polls, but people are saying the polls are tremendous, the BEST polls. The Iran situation is going very well, we have the BEST Generals, they’re doing tremendous things. The deportations are the most beautiful deportations in history, the biggest, the most — I’m not supposed to say the numbers, very high numbers, the LOW IQ people would freak out, but Smart People, very Smart People, they understand. J.D. understands. J.D. is Smart.
This whole thing is going to make Diklis Chump look very, very smart. I mean US. Make US look very smart. The Country. The American People. But mostly — and I can be honest with you, the Smart Readers, the BEST Readers — mostly Diklis Chump. Diklis Chump, folks. The BEST Diklis Chump. That’s the trick, folks. The trick is: Diklis Chump gets to be right, J.D. gets to be loyal, the Atlantic gets to be a failing magazine, and the Country gets the WINNING. The winning is going to be tremendous. I have a deal, beautiful deal, with the Golden Age, very golden, and J.D. is a key part of the deal, very key, the most key, and the Atlantic just told EVERYBODY how key J.D. is, on the Fourth of July, while I was giving the most beautiful speech in the history of speeches. They played THEMSELVES.
And one day — J.D. knows this, the Smart People know this — when the deportations have made the Country so safe your GRANDMOTHER can walk across the border, when the polls are at 95% — they will be, the Smart People are saying they will be — J.D. and I are going to sit down at Mar-a-Lago, just the two of us, and LAUGH about that essay. We are going to laugh and laugh and laugh. Because everyone is going to see the truth. That’s how Smart we are. That’s how 4D the chess is. That’s how you WIN.
Believe me.