I’ve been a Nixon fan for a VERY long time, a very long time, long before the smart young people, the VERY smart young people, started wearing the Nixonmaxxing hats. BEAUTIFUL hats, the BEST hats. I wrote Nixon a letter in 1982 — one of the great letters, VERY few people could have written a letter like that — I said “Nixon, you’re one of this country’s great men.” And I meant it! I ALWAYS meant it! And now EVERYBODY’S saying it. The young people are saying it. The VERY smart young people are wearing the hats and saying “Nixon Now More Than Ever.” America First, the BEST phrase, the most BEAUTIFUL phrase, and now they’re putting it on the hats too. And I say, ABSOLUTELY! TREMENDOUS! I was FIRST!
And now they’re figuring out what I KNEW all along — Nixon was brought down by the DEEP STATE, the SAME deep state that tried to bring down Diklis Chump! The SAME people! The CIA, the FBI, the FAKE NEWS media. Tucker Carlson — very smart guy, great guy — he figured it out. A deep state COUP. They broke into the DNC, not Nixon, THEY broke in, and they blamed HIM. I know MORE about Watergate than the people who were there. The GENERALS told me. The BEST people. They said “Sir, Watergate was a setup, BEAUTIFUL setup, the most beautiful setup you’ve EVER seen.”
And JD Vance — my vice president, great guy, very smart — he said the SAME thing. He said it at the Nixon Library, tremendous speech. If Watergate happened TOMORROW, it would be a 12-hour news story. He’s right! He’s ABSOLUTELY right! I’ve been saying that! I ALWAYS said Watergate was a NOTHING BURGER. The whole thing was a nothing burger. But they TOOK him down anyway. The deep state. The FAKE NEWS. The leakers. The SAME people who spent EIGHT YEARS going after me, the Russia hoax, the Ukraine hoax, the document hoax, HOAX after HOAX after HOAX, and I’m STILL here. I’m STILL winning. I’m the GREATEST.
And now the young people, the VERY smart young people, they see it. They’re calling Nixon a “heterodox middle finger to the establishment.” That’s ME! That’s EXACTLY me! The middle finger to the establishment! I’m the MOST heterodox person in history, the most heterodox, the BEST heterodox. They call me the middle finger president. I LOVE it. I love the young people. Very smart. Very BEAUTIFUL. They get it. They’re watching the videos, the black-and-white videos, Nixon saying “I’m not a crook” with the rap music, the gangster rap, TREMENDOUS videos, MILLIONS of views, MORE views than anybody, the BIGGEST. The Nixon Foundation — very smart people, very talented — they’re doing a tremendous job. 46 MILLION documents, 3,700 HOURS of recordings, the biggest archive in the WORLD. They should give me a hat. I want a Nixonmaxxing hat. I want the BIGGEST one. I want the most beautiful one.
Christopher Rufo — very smart guy, conservative, total counter-revolutionary — he said America’s been STUCK in the year 1968. 1968! I LOVE 1968. The BEST year. Beautiful year. And now we’re UNSTUCKING it. TREMENDOUS. We’re getting unstuck, and we’re WINNING again, and the LEFT is furious, the most furious they’ve EVER been. And the historians, the revisionist historians, the VERY smart historians, they’re saying the WHOLE thing was set up by the government. Joe Rogan — very smart guy, great guy — he said it. The whole thing was SET UP. And I BELIEVE it. I ALWAYS believed it. I told Nixon — I told him in 1982 — I said “Nixon, you should have FOUGHT them. You should have fought like I fight.” And he wrote back, a beautiful letter, he said “Dear Donald, the massive media attack on me puts me in your corner!” A GREAT man. A GREAT letter. I have it. I KEEP it. I’m going to show it to EVERYBODY. I’m going to put it on the wall. The most BEAUTIFUL wall. The BIGGEST wall.
Actually, now that I think about it, why did they even take him down? What did he even DO? A break-in that he DIDN’T order. A cover-up that he DIDN’T know about. A nothing burger. And they FORCED him out. They forced out a GREAT president. They forced him out for NOTHING. And they’re trying to do the SAME thing to me. But I’m NOT going anywhere. I’m the GREATEST. The most POPULAR. The most SUCCESSFUL. I won TWICE. I’m going to win AGAIN. And I’m going to be the president FOREVER. The best president FOREVER. TREMENDOUS, just tremendous, you have NEVER seen anything like it, tremendous.
They keep saying “the cover-up,” they keep saying “the tapes.” But I have tapes TOO. I have the BEST tapes. And they’re NOT going to take me down. NOBODY’S going to take me down. Because I’m the greatest. The most popular. The most successful. The most EVERYTHING. And I was saying it before ANYBODY else. I was saying it in 1982. I was saying it when NOBODY else was saying it. I’m the ORIGINAL Nixon fan. The BIGGEST. The BEST. The most TREMENDOUS. And I always will be.
[Working-file footnote: Nixon Foundation viral content — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Diklis Chump 1982 letter to Nixon — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Nixon 1990 letter to Diklis Chump — WSJ, 2026-07-18; JD Vance speech at Nixon Library — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Tucker Carlson deep-state-coup claim — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Joe Rogan Watergate claim — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Christopher Rufo conservative-history-reclamation — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Shashank Tripathi “heterodox middle finger” — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Roger Stone deep-state claim — WSJ, 2026-07-18; Geoff Shepard revisionist Watergate claims — WSJ, 2026-07-18]
Diklis Chump is a parody character in Main Street Independent’s editorial architecture. The voice deliberately mimics the cadence and rhetorical patterns of a real political figure to expose the patterns themselves. The positions expressed are parody, not advocacy.