Now the critics — and there are critics, many critics, very low-IQ critics, the lowest IQ, very low-IQ — they say it’s a ruse, they say there are two Iran wars, two wars, that’s — and that’s ridiculous, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, and the ceasefire is not a ruse, it’s the art of the deal, it’s the greatest deal in history, and the people who died during the ceasefire, they don’t count, they don’t count because the ceasefire was working, and the critics don’t understand the strategy, they don’t understand the deal, and they say it’s illegal, they say it’s breaking the law, and that’s — and I said it on Tuesday, look at the map, I always said it, I was the first to say the ceasefire would make the war look better, and nobody listened, nobody listened, and now the numbers are 18, and that’s the real number, and the 14 is the fake number, and the media is reporting the 14, and they won’t report the 18.
I went to Dover, Dover Air Force Base, very sad day, four great American patriots killed, and I had a very sad day yesterday, very sad, and that’s 18, and one is too many, but it’s 18, and the media won’t report the real facts. We were in Vietnam for 20 years, lost thousands and hundreds of thousands of lives, and we were in Afghanistan for years, and all these wars that you heard about for years and years, and we’re in for four months, four months, and the death toll is 18, and one is too many, but it’s 18, and that’s the real number, and the 14 is the fake number, and the critics say it’s a ruse, but it’s not a ruse, it’s the art of the deal, the greatest deal in history, and nobody — nobody — could have made this deal, nobody, and the media won’t report it, they won’t report the real facts. The Democrats are pressing to end the Iran war but they don’t understand, they don’t understand the ceasefire, they don’t understand the art of the deal.
The Pentagon is doing a tremendous job with the data, and the data is fixed now, it’s fixed now, and the numbers are correct, and the 18 — and one is too many, but the 18 — is the real number, and the 14 is the fake number, and the media is reporting the 14, and they won’t report the 18, and the chart — the chart is beautiful, the best chart, nobody makes charts like me, nobody — and the chart shows 18, and that’s the real number, and the critics say it’s wrong, but the chart is right, the chart is always right, and the media is wrong, the media is always wrong. I had nothing to do with that, they will believe that, they will believe anything, anyway, I had nothing to do with it, I had nothing to do with that, that’s the Pentagon’s decision, and the media is lying, and the critics are low-IQ, and the 18 is the real number, and the ceasefire is the reason, and that’s the art of the deal, the greatest deal in history, the most tremendous deal, and nobody — nobody — could have made this deal, nobody, and the media won’t report it, they won’t report the truth, they won’t report the real facts.
And the chart is right, the chart is always right, and the 18 is the real number, and one is too many, but the 18, and that’s less than Vietnam, and Vietnam was 200,000, and that’s TREMENDOUS, the most tremendous comparison in the history of comparisons, the greatest comparison ever made, by the greatest president ever, and the media won’t report it, they won’t report the real facts, and the critics — the low-IQ critics — they don’t understand, they don’t understand the ceasefire, they don’t understand the art of the deal, and they say it’s illegal, but it’s not illegal, it’s the greatest deal in history, the most tremendous deal, and nobody — nobody — could have made this deal, nobody, and the media won’t report it, they won’t report the real facts.
Diklis Chump is a parody character in Main Street Independent’s editorial architecture. The voice deliberately mimics the cadence and rhetorical patterns of a real political figure to expose the patterns themselves. The positions expressed are parody, not advocacy.