The scientists are saying I was right about Canada all along

Canada, by the way — very unfair, very unfair country when it comes to the fires. They send the smoke, they send it right across the border, our beautiful border, and nobody does anything about it. I said it before and I’ll say it again — Canada should pay. Maybe tariffs. Beautiful tariffs. The most beautiful tariffs you’ve ever seen. But now the scientists — and these are good scientists, very smart people, not as smart as me but smart — they did a study and they’re saying the fires are TWICE as likely because of climate change. Which I have always said. I have ALWAYS said that. Before anyone. I knew the weather was changing. I knew there was a problem. Nobody listened.

The scientists examined heat, lack of rain, humidity and wind, and found that the weeklong conditions behind the Ontario fires can now occur about once every six years. Six years! That is practically a scheduled event. Canada should have known. Canada should have prepared. Canada should have stopped the heat, stopped the drought, stopped the wind, stopped the humidity — especially now that the study says the whole package is twice as likely. Frankly, Canada should have stopped having a border so close to my explanation. Instead, Canada allowed the atmosphere to become atmospheric.

And here’s what the study ACTUALLY proves, if you read it correctly, which I did because I have a very good brain for reading studies — Canada is even MORE responsible than I originally said. If climate change made the fire weather twice as likely, and Canada failed to deal with it, then Canada failed twice. This is what the smart people call four-dimensional chess math. While everyone else is doing regular math, I’m doing the climate math, and the climate math says Canada should still pay.

But here’s the thing the Fake News won’t tell you about this study. They’re trying to make it about America. About OUR emissions. Can you believe it? We have the cleanest air, the cleanest water, the most beautiful emissions you’ve ever seen — and they’re trying to blame US for Canada’s fire problem. If the scientists say the atmosphere has been warmed by fossil-fuel emissions, that is a completely different matter, because I am talking about Canada, a very cold place, one of the coldest places, people are saying, and cold countries cannot cause heat. It is a very simple equation, the kind I understand immediately: if the smoke is Canadian, the blame is Canadian.

This is called RESPONSIBILITY INVERSION, and I invented it years ago, before anybody else had even heard of responsibility. I had nothing to do with the emissions, the fires, the atmosphere, or the fact that the weather conditions are now twice as likely, but I am taking full credit for discovering that Canada should pay damages. That is leadership. That is the DEAL. Canada gets the smoke, I get the explanation, and everyone wins except the people breathing the explanation.

I know the study is not peer reviewed because I am an expert on peer review. I have been peer reviewed many times — by crowds, by ratings, by the best people! Very tough people. Very smart people. Not like the scientists, who keep examining evidence when they could be watching me make the most important statement in history.

So this “study” — and I use the word loosely, VERY loosely, because it hasn’t even been peer reviewed yet, which means the peers haven’t looked at it, and if the peers haven’t looked at it, who knows, could be anything, could be written by a low IQ person, probably was — this study says the fire weather is “twice as likely.” Okay, so what? That means there is still a VERY good chance Canada caused the problem by being incompetent. Fifty-fifty, maybe. I like those odds. I’ve always been very good at odds, ask anyone.

I always knew climate change would become a Canadian problem. I said it before the study, before the fires, before the smoke, before the weather happened — exactly what I predicted, although I may have predicted the opposite, which is also exactly what I predicted. I have a perfect memory. I remember every prediction I made, especially the ones I am making now. If there is a map showing the weather, I can take a Sharpie and improve it. That is not changing reality. That is making reality more LEGIBLE.

And now the very smart people are saying I should look in the mirror. I looked. The mirror was tremendous. The mirror showed a very strong leader, a beautiful leader, a leader who had nothing to do with climate change but somehow knew about it before everybody else. Then the mirror became disloyal, possibly low IQ, and I stopped looking at it. You cannot trust a mirror that refuses to understand the DEAL.

I love the people choking on smoke — more than anybody. I love the firefighters, the families, the people whose homes and communities are threatened — tremendous people, the best people. But they must understand that their suffering is making me look bad, which means it is an attack, and when I am attacked I become very compassionate, very fair, and extremely interested in finding someone else to pay.

The tariffs are still very much on the table, by the way. Because somebody has to pay for all that smoke. Do you know what smoke does to America? It makes the air bad. It disrupts things. It causes problems. Very serious problems. And who’s going to pay? The Canadians? They won’t manage the fires. They don’t even try hard enough. Nobody knows forests better than me, and I’ll tell you — you have to manage. You have to be strong with the forests. So we’ll tariff them, and the tariffs will pay for everything, and it’ll be the biggest, most beautiful tariff you’ve ever seen.

And by the way, some people — very smart people, the BEST people — are telling me this study is actually a huge win for me. The BIGGEST win. You have to be very smart to see it. They wrote a whole study just to confirm what I’ve been saying, which is that the weather is different now and Canada can’t handle it. Exposed the Canadians for what they are — bad fire managers, maybe the worst fire managers in history, and I’ve known this for a long time, I knew it before anyone else knew it, believe me.

Remember, I predicted all of this. Before the scientists. Before the study. Before Canada even had fires. I said there was going to be a problem with Canada and the fires and everyone laughed. Nobody’s laughing now. Except me, a little bit.

Diklis Chump did this, very few people could have done it, believe me: I turned a scientific finding about a warming world into a tariff opportunity against Canada. I turned the earlier tariff threat into a climate explanation, emissions into a border dispute, weather into a negotiation, and a warning into a victory. The scientists think the atmosphere is telling us what happened. The BEST people know better. They are saying this is actually the biggest win in fire-management history, because I have successfully managed to keep the fire away from the one place I am looking.