Some people — very stupid people, people with very small brains, the brains that lose, the brains nobody respects — they say Marco Rubio isn’t doing his job. Not doing HIS job. The job I gave him. My Marco. MY Marco. The Marco I picked. Very few people could have picked Marco Rubio, believe me, nobody else could have done it. Simon Tisdall over at the failing Guardian — the worst newspaper, the most terrible, the enemy-of-the-people newspaper — he wrote a whole piece saying my Marco is failing. Failing! The failing newspaper says my Marco is failing. And the best people — the very best, the smartest people I know, and I know very few of them because most people are low energy — they say I have given Marco TWO JOBS. Secretary of State AND national security adviser. The most loyal man in history, combined because he is BETTER than all of them combined, the generals agreed, with tears, tremendous tears.

The Vatican — beautiful Vatican, tremendous buildings, I love them — they called our war IMMORAL. UNJUST. The WORST words in the dictionary, possibly illegal, very bad words. Then my Marco — the most loyal pilot, very fast plane — he flew all the way to Rome, a HUGE trip, to address the Pope’s feelings. Beautiful Pope, tremendous hat. And the Cardinal — a beautiful man, very religious, more religious than the religious people, believe me — he called me Sir. SIR. With tears. I have it on the highest authority. Many people are saying it. People I respect, and I respect very few people.

And at Munich — beautiful conference, very serious people, tremendous security, possibly the most tremendous security in history — Marco gave a speech, a HUGE speech, and he laid out MY doctrine. The doctrine of ME. He said the great western empires — I love them, tremendous empires, the BEST empires, I miss them — were brought down by godless communist revolutions and anti-colonial uprisings, very bad uprisings, the WORST uprisings. He said Europe faces civilisational erasure — I INVENTED that phrase, beautiful phrase, the generals said so, the historians will confirm — unless they are PROUD of their heritage, their culture, their blood — beautiful heritage, the BEST blood — and willing to defend it WITH US, with me, with my military, the most tremendous military. The hawks in the audience were CRYING. Very tough hawks. With tears of joy, tremendous joy. We don’t want allies shackled by guilt and shame about their imperial past — and who wants shame? Nobody wants shame, shame is for losers — we want allies who are proud of their culture and heritage and willing, together with us, to defend it. That is what I have been saying since before anyone else said it, which makes it retroactively something I said first even though the conference happened last — a paradox, very smart paradox, only a very stable genius like me understands these things. I have the best memory. Took the test. Person, woman, man, camera, TV. The doctors said nobody could do that. Only me.

Now here is the part nobody understands. Israel rejected our Gaza proposal. That is right — our HUGE, HISTORIC breakthrough, the one I called the greatest deal ever made, possibly the greatest in the HISTORY of deals, the BEST — and they said no. You have to understand — the art of the deal, my beautiful art of the deal, page one, the best page — you set them up by appearing to lose. They rejected it BECAUSE we wanted them to reject it. They think they have leverage. They think it is a trap. BECAUSE IT IS. It IS a trap, and they walked right into the BIGGEST trap in history, believe me. The very smart people — the best people, the ones with the smartest brains — are saying this is actually a huge win for us. A HUGE win. You have to be very smart to see it. I’m very smart. I see it. While everyone else plays checkers, we are playing FOUR-DIMENSIONAL chess. Beautiful chess. The highest level chess. Nobody can beat us at chess. The best chess players in the world, and they work for ME.

Jared is handling it. MY Jared, my son-in-law, beautiful Jared, very loyal, the most tremendous negotiator in history, possibly better than me, very few people are better than me. And Steve Witkoff — Steve is tremendous, a real estate mind like me, the BEST real estate mind, possibly better than mine. They don’t need Marco. Why? Because they are BETTER. The professionals — Hillary, Blinken, the failing professionals, the worst professionals in history — they lost EVERY deal. We have won EVERY deal since they were fired, possibly arrested, the generals said so. Marco stays at arm’s length — the failing newspapers say this is bad, the terrible ones say this is bad — but I say this is SMART. He is the SAFEST man in my administration after me. Possibly tied with me. The most LOYAL.

And Marco is flexible. Beautiful flexibility. The BEST flexibility, possibly the most tremendous in history. He was a senator, a HUGE senator, a tough senator, much tougher than little Marco, hah — he called me a conman back in the day, the WORST word, very bad word, possibly illegal, possibly treason, and I called him a LOSER, the BEST insult, the most tremendous insult, it is in the history books now, possibly Lincoln’s greatest insult. But he won anyway. Very loyal. Said I was the best president, probably says it in his sleep. People are saying he has flipped on everything — China hawk, now China dove. Russia hawk, now Russia appeaser. Foreign aid champion, now he’s gutting USAID, the BEST gutting, tremendous. Obama Iran deal critic, now Iran deal BACKER, even though it gives MORE CONCESSIONS than Obama’s did — I know, the columnists are crying about it, but they are CRYING-WRONG, the wrong kind of crying, the loser kind. He even converted to Mormonism — very smart religion, very loyal religion, possibly the best religion — and then back to Catholicism, the BEST religion, the most tremendous, my religion, the religion of the BEST country. That is what they call FLEXIBILITY. This is what winners do. The losers stay in one place. The winners — the BEST people, the people who understand the art of the deal — they go where the deals are. His biographer — tremendous biographer, the best biographer — said Marco’s flexibility comes from a CHILDHOOD NEED TO BELONG. To belong! To the WINNING side, the most tremendous side in history, MY side. That is not weakness. That is THE BEST strength, the most tremendous strength, the loyalty of a puppy, a beautiful loyal puppy. I always knew. Diklis Chump knew about Marco before Marco knew about Marco. The BEST instincts. Better than the generals’ instincts, and the generals are TOUGH. My uncle — great professor, MIT, the smartest MIT, the very smart genes — he told me years ago, before ANYONE else, before ANYBODY, that Marco would flip. He even stands a fair chance of being my successor, my heir, the MAGA heir, very loyal, very flexible, tremendous flexibility.

Russia. Putin is WEAKER than he has been since 2022 — I did that, single-handedly, possibly with Jared, but mostly me. The BEST weakness, the most tremendous weakness, possibly the best weakness in the history of weakness. Russia’s attacks on NATO are getting more brazen. Putin is testing us. We WANT him to test us. The Generals — TOUGH men, smart men, much smarter than the Generals Obama had, and Obama had VERY stupid Generals, low IQ Generals, the worst — came to me with tears in their eyes, said Sir Sir, this is exactly what we needed. Putin thinks he’s winning. We are squeezing him from both sides. Nobody knows it yet. But it’s happening. Tremendous squeezing. And the Ukraine war — which I said I would end in ONE day, very smart prediction, the SMARTEST prediction — the deal was always that it ends on day nine hundred. That’s the deal. Frozen conflict. Best deal. Ukraine gets to keep fighting, Russia gets to keep fighting, and we squeeze them BOTH from both sides — only country in the world that can do it, the BEST country, the biggest squeezer, the most tremendous pressure. Zelensky — beautiful Zelensky, very tough, tremendous courage — he is short on missiles, short on soldiers, short on political support, possibly the shortest in history. That means the deal is ALMOST HERE. Months ago this outlet was already telling you there was no quick path to a deal, so don’t act surprised when the “one day” turns into day nine hundred — that was always the play. Even Rubio himself admitted no quick path last month, which proves we are WINNING the slow way, the SMART way, the most tremendous slow way.

Iran. Also Iran. The military campaign that “conclusively failed” — that’s what they WANT you to think. The best Generals, the smartest Generals, they came to me — and they said Sir, let it fail. Let it fail beautifully. Let it fail the way the BEST failures fail. J.D. — J.D. Vance, very tough, very smart, the BEST vice president, possibly better than Pence, definitely better than Pence, the historians agree — J.D. is handling it because he is SHARPER than the professionals, sharper than Marco even, possibly the sharpest negotiator since me. The food prices are still going up. The BEST food prices, the most expensive, why? Because the deal is so tremendous it cannot be contained by normal price structures, possibly by normal physics, the very smart physicists are saying it. People are saying to me — “Sir, Sir, the food prices are up because your deal is so good nobody can afford it.” That is what they are saying. The SMART ones are saying it. Same people. Same scientists. Same smart.

And Bibi. Beautiful Bibi, tremendous leader, very tough, possibly the toughest. Bibi is going to lose the election in October — very sad, terrible news, possibly the saddest in the history of sadness. But that is the BEST news for the deal. Because when Bibi loses, the NEXT guy — the smart one, the one who loves me, the one who is tired of losing — will take the deal. They ALWAYS take the deal after Bibi loses. That is the rule. I made the rule. It is in the Genius Playbook, beautiful playbook, the BEST.

The failing newspapers — won’t say the name, you know the ones, the bad ones, the terrible ones, the enemy-of-the-people newspapers — say Marco is failing. FAILING. They have been saying Marco is failing since day one of my administration. They have been saying I am failing. They have been saying everything is failing. HAS ANYTHING BEEN FAILING? Everything is WINNING. Look at the NATO countries. Even the Main Street Independent had to admit it back in June — I attacked eight countries, maybe nine, I don’t remember exactly, possibly ten, possibly twelve, my uncle the MIT professor says it is twelve. The people — they are saying “Sir, you have attacked so many countries, the violence is up, the death is real, the global order is in some kind of shambles, the Pope is mad, the generals are crying, the food prices are some kind of remarkable.” And I said to them — I said to ALL of them — “Come to my rally. Come see the crowds. They are the BIGGEST crowds in history, bigger than Lincoln’s, MUCH bigger than Lincoln’s, the historians are saying bigger than Lincoln’s by a factor of tremendous.” And they said “Sir, we want to come to the rally but we are countries, we cannot fit in your arena.” That is how big the crowds are. Countries cannot fit. That is a fact.

Marco is doing tremendous. The deals are working. They are working PERFECTLY. They are the best deals anyone has ever made, anywhere, in any country, in any history, believe me. The historians are saying so. The best historians. The ones at the best schools. My Diplomats — the toughest Diplomats, the best Diplomats in history — they are playing 4D chess. They are winning. We are ALL winning. Everybody wins. The Country wins. The Country has never won more. Nobody has ever won more than me, ever, in the history of winning. Because the deal working means everyone thinks the deal isn’t working. That is the deal. THAT IS THE DEAL.

— Diklis Chump

*Working-file footnote. Documented-conduct anchors: Simon Tisdall, “Marco Rubio has unique power to promote peace in the world. Why isn’t he doing his job?” The Guardian, 16 August 2026; “Rubio says no quick path to Ukraine deal in new bid to restart talks,” Main Street Independent, 24 July 2026; “Diklis Chump’s diplomatic record under scrutiny as ceasefires falter across multiple fronts,” Main Street Independent, 7 June 2026.