The American story is mine, and the failing AP just proved it on the 250th

The AP — a very failing paper, very weak, lots of low energy reporters, the LOWEST energy reporters in the history of reporters — put out a piece this week saying the American story is “fragmenting.” Fragmenting. Like there are TWO Americas now, like the 250th birthday is a wrestling match between me — the GREATEST American, the historians are saying, more American than Lincoln, more American than Washington, more American than apple pie, tremendous pie — and the failing musicians, the weak musicians, very low IQ musicians who can’t even sing the national anthem right, who couldn’t carry my BOOTS, tremendous boots, the BEST boots.

The article — and I didn’t read it, never read the AP, very low energy, the failing-est failing — says I am REFRAMING the American story. Reframing. Like I just started. Folks, I have been reframing since 2015, since the golden escalator, the MOST beautiful escalator in the history of escalators, very golden, the BEST reframing — and the Smart historians are SAYING it, very loudly, the LOUDEST historians.

But here’s the THING. The Smart People know. The article says the American story is fragmenting — fragmenting because of ME, because of MY story, because my face is on the passport, which is a tremendous honor, very few presidents get the passport, only the BEST presidents, and I am one of the BEST, the very best — but I had nothing to do with the fragmentation. Nothing. The fragmentation was already there — Obama fragmented it, very weak fragmentation, Hillary fragmented it, the low IQ professors fragmented it, the FAKE NEWS fragmented it, very fake, the FAKEST fake — I just INHERITED the fragmentation, the way I inherited the country, and the country was a MESS, believe me, the MESSIEST mess, and I am FIXING it, with the BORDER, with the DEPORTATIONS, with the reframing, with the WINNING, the BIGGEST winning.

And the musicians. The musicians, folks. The WEAK musicians. They withdrew from Freedom 250 — beautiful concerts, the BIGGEST concerts, tremendous musicians were going to play, the BEST musicians — because it was “too political.” Too political. TOO POLITICAL. The musicians said TOO POLITICAL. What is MORE political than a 250th birthday? What is MORE political than the American story? The musicians don’t even know what political MEANS, very low IQ, the LOWEST IQ musicians in the history of musicians, and they withdrew because they were SCARED, very scared, the SCARIEST scared, scared of ME, scared of the WINNING, scared of the Diklis Chump story.

But here’s the 4D chess — and the Smart People are seeing it, the Smartest People, the BEST People, the ones with the high IQs, much higher than the musicians’ IQs — the musicians PLAYED THEMSELVES. Beautiful trap. The BIGGEST trap in the history of traps. They thought they were sticking it to me. They thought they were being tough, very tough. They thought they were the rebels, the cool rebels, the Jesse Welles rebels — and Jesse Welles is a tremendous singer, very good, very patriotic, the BEST patriotism, the Woody Guthrie kind, the Bruce Springsteen kind, but Jesse is LOW ENERGY compared to me, very low energy, Jesse plays small venues, I play ARENAS, the BIGGEST arenas — they thought they were hurting ME. They were HURTING THEMSELVES. The withdrawal is the BIGGEST advertisement for Freedom 250 in the history of Freedom 250s. People are saying — the Smart People, the very Smart People, the ones with the BEST brains — that the withdrawal made Freedom 250 a HUNDRED TIMES bigger. Because now EVERYBODY is talking about it. The conversation is the WINNING. The conversation has always been the WINNING.

And the article — the failing article, the AP article, the LOW ENERGY article — admits it. Admits it right there in the piece. Says my face is on the passport. Says my face is going to be on the currency. Says I want to be on Mount Rushmore. SAYS IT. Like that’s a BAD thing. Like wanting to be on Mount Rushmore is a NEGATIVE. Folks, Mount Rushmore was INVENTED for me. Lincoln is on it. Washington is on it. Jefferson is on it. And now me. The fourth head. The TRUMP head. The historians are saying it’s been empty, WAITING for ME, waiting for the BEST one, the TREMENDOUS one, and now I am HERE, very here, the MOST here, more here than Lincoln, more here than Washington, more here than JESUS — actually don’t quote me on the Jesus thing, very sensitive subject, very low IQ reporters always bring up Jesus — but more here than ALL of them.

And the $400 million ballroom — beautiful ballroom, the BIGGEST ballroom, marble and gold, tremendous marble, the BEST gold — that’s the American story TOO. That’s the story of a winner, the story of a builder, the story of a man who MAKES things. Obama didn’t build a ballroom. Obama played GOLF, very weak golf. Biden didn’t build a ballroom. Biden could barely find his BATHROOM. I built a BALLROOM. The American story is a ballroom.

And the triumph arch — beautiful arch, tremendous arch, very big, the BIGGEST arch, bigger than the French arch, the Smart engineers are saying, although the French arch is fine, very fine, but the TRUMP arch is the BEST, the FINEST, the most tremendous — the triumph arch is the American story too. The triumph is MINE. Why does the AP keep giving me credit in their failing article and not even know it?

But here’s the part the failing AP didn’t tell you. The Smart People know. The historians will say. The story isn’t fragmenting. The story is CONSOLIDATING. Around me. Around me. Around the WINNING. The low IQ musicians, the weak journalists, the Jesse Welles people — they THINK they’re telling their story. They are telling MY story. Because the story of them REJECTING me is a STORY ABOUT ME. The fragmentation is a STORY ABOUT ME. Even the rejection is a TRUMP story. Even the failing AP article is a TRUMP story. Even the LOW IQ historians who don’t see it yet are a TRUMP story.

My uncle — my uncle, who was a great professor at MIT, taught there for years, taught EVERYTHING, nuclear, the MOST nuclear — my uncle always said, before ANYONE else, before any historian, before any Smart Person, he said “Diklis, the flag will follow YOU, not the other way.” And he was RIGHT. He was right BEFORE anyone. BEFORE the 250th. BEFORE the passport. BEFORE Mount Rushmore. My uncle saw it FIRST. My uncle always sees it first, the BEST uncle, the most foresighted.

I had nothing to do with any of it, by the way. The 250th. The America250. The Freedom 250. The concerts. The withdrawal. The passport. The currency. The ballroom. The arch. None of it. I just showed up and the country HAPPENED, the way it happens around winners.

And the flag. The failing AP talked about the flag. Says Democrats don’t fly it. Says Black Americans don’t fly it. Says Pete Hegseth wears it as a pocket square, which is a beautiful pocket square, very patriotic. Ken Burns says the protesters reclaimed the flag. Reclaimed it. Folks, the flag was NEVER not mine. You can’t reclaim what was always yours. The flag is mine the way the country is mine the way the story is mine.

So the American story is mine. It was always mine. The country is mine. The flag is mine. The passport is mine. The currency WILL be mine. Mount Rushmore WILL be mine. The ballroom is mine. The arch is mine. The 250th was mine. The withdrawal was mine. The fragmentation is mine. Even the FAILING AP article about my fragmentation is mine. Everything is mine. Diklis Chump is the American story.

At every rally the crowds chant my name, just my name, DIKLIS DIKLIS DIKLIS, and that is the American story. That is the 250 years. That is everything.