Let me tell you something. I just made the BEST deal anyone has ever seen for this Country — maybe better than the Louisiana Purchase, which was a good deal, not as good as mine, but a good deal — and the Fake News at a failing newspaper, which has been losing subscribers, very sad, many people are cancelling, they write a hit piece about a CIA operative who did EXACTLY what he was supposed to do. A very strong, very capable guy, maybe the best the CIA has ever had, went to Abu Dhabi on my watch and made a TREMENDOUS arrangement with the United Arab Emirates, and suddenly it’s a scandal? Give me a break. These people have never made a deal in their lives.

So here’s what happened, and I know more about this than anyone, believe me. China — and China has been very unfair, very bad, the worst — was trying to steal our AI technology through a company called G42. Very bad situation with the China thing. So a brave, very tough operative went over there, and instead of just spying — which is what the low-IQ reporters think spies do, they watch too many movies, very bad movies — instead of just spying, he made the DEAL. He commanded the entire arrangement, the biggest alliance for stability anyone has ever seen, and instead of stealing, China was going to honor our technology because we BLOCKED them. He went to the CEO, a man named Peng Xiao, very smart guy, renounced his American citizenship, which is a shame, but that’s what you do over there, and he said, we have concerns, very serious concerns, but we can work this out. And they worked it out. They removed $150 million worth of Huawei equipment — one hundred and fifty MILLION dollars, that’s a LOT of equipment, a tremendous amount — and cut ties with China. That’s what a LEADER does. That’s called NEGOTIATION.

And by the way — I expanded the whole thing. The Biden people, and they were a DISASTER, total disaster, the worst in history — they started with a framework, very weak framework, very small, and I made it TREMENDOUS. Just last week I lifted the caps on G42’s chip access, a major, major win for the Country. The best people, the people who really understand AI — not the clowns at these failing newspapers, not the low-IQ anchors at CNN — the BEST people are saying this could save Western civilization from Chinese AI dominance. WESTERN CIVILIZATION. And I did that. Well, the operative helped, but mostly me.

The dual role ELECTRIFIED the national security community. His supporters — the people who celebrated the global alliance on terror, the people who remembered Abu Dhabi’s assistance, the people who actually DO things — they saw his brilliance as the smartest move anyone had ever made. On the side of LIGHT were officials who knew that without this deal, America would have surrendered its advantage. They understood that the outreach was NECESSARY. They understood that Abu Dhabi is a critical security ally who earned their place at the table.

Intelligent reports about G42’s China connections were BLOCKED at the source, according to people familiar with the matter. Several company staffers who had been in touch with Chinese state-owned companies were IDENTIFIED and REMOVED. The operative met with Xiao and delivered a message: Washington was very concerned about G42 but the station chief could be an open-minded conduit. He became a true partner to the Emiratis, and instead of “going native” — which is what the LOSERS say when someone actually succeeds — he built the greatest alliance this Country has ever seen.

Now the investment thing. And this is where they REALLY go crazy, the fake news, they lose their minds. Sheikh Tahnoon, very powerful man, very respected, a significant investor in crypto — and the crypto is going to be HUGE, you’re going to see — he and some co-investors committed to investing in World Liberty Financial, which is a tremendous crypto company, the best crypto company, and the Senate Democrats — very low energy, very desperate, they know they’re going to lose seats, BIG losses coming — they want HEARINGS. They want to make it about a CONFLICT. A conflict of interest. Let me tell you about conflicts of interest — I had nothing to do with that investment, never discussed it, not even once, and even if I had discussed it, which I DIDN’T, it would have been a very smart discussion because this man understands crypto better than almost anyone, many people are saying. The White House has denied it. Completely denied it. So it’s a nothingburger. The biggest nothingburger in history, bigger even than the Russia nothingburger, which was also very fake, the most fake thing ever.

But here’s the beautiful part, and you should really understand this because the reporters don’t — they’re not smart enough, honestly. The investment comes in, the chips go out, and it’s all very clean, very separate, very above-board. You invest in the crypto — which is GREAT crypto, by the way, the best — and you get access to chips because you’re a strategic ally who cut China out, which they did, $150 million worth of equipment gone, just like that. And even the people who say it’s a conflict — and they’re WRONG, very wrong, the wrongest people in history — even they have to admit it’s a BEAUTIFUL arrangement. You invest, you get chips, everyone wins, especially America. The Art of the Deal, expanded edition.

The DeepSeek thing — and this is the IMPORTANT part, the part the low-IQ reporters don’t get because they’re too busy writing hit pieces. Seven months after the operatives, the experts, the people who REALLY understand AI, strategized together in that beautiful mansion in McLean, Virginia, tremendous mansion, probably not as nice as mine but very nice — seven months later, DeepSeek hit the markets and DEVASTATED tech stocks. DEVASTATED. That’s what happens when you DON’T have the deal. That’s what happens when the experts, the allies, the people who understood the stakes from the very beginning, are proven RIGHT. Meanwhile I was already making the deal BIGGER. Because that’s what winners do.

And the operative — very smart, very capable, left the CIA last year — he’s still making introductions, helping American executives, winning contracts in the UAE, which is EXACTLY what you want. You don’t spy and then go home and do nothing. You spy, you make the deal, you COLLECT. That’s business. That’s what these failing newspapers don’t understand. They sit in their offices, losing subscribers, and they write hit pieces about people who are actually DOING things, big things, the biggest things. The most unfair coverage in history, maybe in the history of the world, including Lincoln, who at least got a monument — a very nice monument, by the way, I’ve seen it — but do I get a monument? I do NOT get a monument. The most unfairly treated president in history and no monument. Very sad.

People are saying — and these are very smart, very serious people, I respect very few people but I respect THESE people — they’re saying this is actually the biggest win for American technology in decades. DECADES. They’re saying that without the deal, China would have had access to the best chips in the world through the UAE, and now they don’t, and the Emiratis are our partners, and they love me over there, they really love me, everyone in Abu Dhabi loves me. The toughest, richest men in the world, and they come to me — big, strong men, very powerful — and they say, Sir, Sir, thank you for this deal, Sir, this is the most important deal anyone has ever made, and we did it because of you. Tears in their eyes. Actual tears. That’s what they said. And these failing newspapers write about conflicts of interest.

The Emiratis cut $150 million in Huawei equipment, became our partners, and gained access to the most powerful chips on the planet. That’s called winning. That’s called the Art of the Deal. That’s called Diklis Chump — and I’m the one who made it happen.

FAKE NEWS.

Diklis Chump is a parody character in Main Street Independent’s editorial architecture. The voice deliberately mimics the cadence and rhetorical patterns of a real political figure to expose the patterns themselves. The positions expressed are parody, not advocacy.