So my media company, Diklis Chump Media, we built this from nothing, from a very small loan, and now it’s the biggest media company in history, and the Truth API — which is already the biggest thing on Wall Street — it’s just the next GREAT step. The smartest traders, the very best people, they’re paying a hundred thousand dollars a month, maybe more, because they know my posts move markets, they move billions and billions of dollars in markets, and they want to see them first. That’s called smart. Very smart.
I always said I was the only one who understood the economy. Now I’m letting certain very special, very wealthy investors understand it with me. It’s a partnership. They get the information first, they make a lot of money, and it trickles down. It’s called capitalism, folks. The brilliant kind. People are saying nobody has ever made this kind of beautiful, legal arrangement before. TREMENDOUS.
Now my critics — the fake news, the very LOW-IQ people — they’re screaming about something called INSIDER TRADING. Insider trading! I always said it was a made-up term. Let me explain, very simply, because most people don’t understand technology and they’ve got the fake-news version in their head. My Truth Social feed is PUBLIC. I’m not hiding it in a safe. I’m putting it on the internet. For everybody. The smart people have computers — the best computers, the fastest computers — and they can trade in milliseconds. A millisecond, folks, is a very small amount of time. Shorter than a blink. Nobody has ever blinked that fast. So my post goes out, and before the slow people have even finished turning on their phones, my friends have already traded. That’s not a crime. That’s called being first. That’s called WINNING. I’ve been first my whole life. If you want to pay a hundred thousand dollars to get it a few seconds before the slow people, that’s called the free market. That’s the deal of the century. You make your own reality.
My spokeswoman Shannon, very smart, very tough — she said it perfectly, very devastating. These people have invented a whole new theory of INSIDER TRADING based on publicly available information. NEW theory! They made it up! Because they can’t stand that Diklis Chump is winning, they absolutely cannot stand it. And this professor, this Boston College professor, she used to work at the SEC, very low position, very low — she’s saying because some people see my posts a few milliseconds before other people, that’s a “duty of trust and confidence” violation. A few milliseconds! For posts that EVERYBODY can read! She’s got this whole theory — MISAPPROPRIATION, she calls it — like I’m stealing information from myself. I’m the one making the posts! How do you misappropriate your own posts? You can’t. It’s not possible. She doesn’t understand the deal. Very LOW IQ.
And the senators, the very LOW-IQ senators — Elizabeth Warren, very low, very low, and Schiff, very low — they’re writing letters to the SEC, demanding an investigation. Into what? Into public posts? Into a company that already has Wall Street firms lining up to pay for access? It’s political. It’s all political. They say it’s “an outrageous abuse of the President’s office.” Well I’ll tell you what’s an abuse — a senator writing a letter to hurt a publicly traded company. That’s an abuse. With no apparent sense of irony, certain politicians falsely accuse us of anti-free-market behavior while pressuring businesses into boycotting a product. Boom. Very devastating. Very smart.
And Shifty Schiff, he has no deals. He has no API. He has nothing. They don’t understand business. They’re saying giving “insider information” to a select few rich guys is somehow wrong. I always said Warren had no idea what she was talking about. This is the opposite of wrong. This is a beautiful, legal business model that brings transparency to the market. Everybody said I couldn’t monetize the presidency. I said watch me. When we announced this product, the fake news laughed. Nobody’s laughing now. My media company, which I started from nothing — a small loan of, frankly, billions in market cap from people who believe in me — is now generating millions of dollars in recurring revenue. We’ve announced it, it’s in the open, we’re selling it to anyone who can afford it. And there are many who can afford it. TREMENDOUS people.
And I’ll tell you something about the Wall Street people — the best people, the very best. Some of them are scared. They’re scared to death. They won’t even say their names! They’re afraid of retaliation! From me! Can you imagine? They think the president of the United States is going to retaliate against them because they don’t like a social media product. Well one of them — very anonymous, very scared — he called the Truth API “insane.” INSANE! For a hundred thousand dollars a month. Well I think it’s INSANE that a guy won’t even put his name on his own opinion. Very cowardly. Very LOW IQ. Another one said he and two hundred of his friends aren’t “getting anywhere near this.” Two hundred! That’s two hundred cowards who can’t handle a beautiful deal. SAD! They’re gagging themselves! They said, “We can’t say anything because the president will get mad.” I’m not mad. I’m the president. I’m a businessman. I love when people make money. The smart money gets it — the biggest firms on Wall Street are already paying up to $100,000 a month for my beautiful feed. And if the rest are too stupid to buy my product, that’s their loss. They’re the ones who will be left behind when the market moves on my signal.
And my son Don — very smart, very loyal, he runs the trust — he makes sure the family gets what’s coming to us. Because I’m the largest shareholder, through a trust, very legal, very beautiful trust, and when people sign up for Truth API — and they are signing up, they absolutely are — that money goes to shareholders. Goes to the family. That’s called WINNING. The critics say that’s a “conflict of interest.” Everything I do is a conflict of interest to these people. I breathe, it’s a conflict of interest. I build a TREMENDOUS company from nothing, it’s a conflict of interest. Meanwhile they’re writing letters to the SEC to hurt the stock price. Who’s really undermining investor confidence here? Think about it. Very LOW IQ.
And this law — the Stock Act, 2012, very old law, very outdated — they’re saying it prohibits the president from trading on privileged information. Well first of all, I’m not trading stocks. I’m running a media company. Second of all, the information is PUBLIC. You cannot trade on public information. It’s not possible. The law is very specific. My lawyers — the best lawyers, very expensive lawyers, the very best — they told me, they said, “Sir, this is perfectly legal.” And I said, “I know, I know, I’ve been telling everybody that, very smart, very smart.” The distinction is one that only a very smart person — a genius, really — could figure out. I’m not giving them my information. I’m giving them a better, faster, more expensive version of my information. There’s a difference. The smart people understand. The SEC — very quiet on this, very smart — they declined to comment. DECLINED! Which means they know. They know it’s legal.
And to the regular investors out there, the everyday people who can’t afford a hundred thousand dollars a month: I hear they’re crying about fairness. Let me explain something, very simply. The market is not a charity. If you can’t afford the fast lane, you shouldn’t be in the race. That’s not unfair. That’s merit. The slow people are the losers, and frankly, they should be thanking us for the lesson. Life is about winners and losers. I’m a winner. And now, I’m the fastest winner in history. Beautiful.
So the senators want their investigation. The professor has her MISAPPROPRIATION theory. The anonymous Wall Street cowards won’t even say their names. And me? I’m just sitting here running the greatest media company in history, worth billions, billions and billions of dollars, completely self-made from a very small loan, and the Truth API — it’s the greatest innovation in the history of social media. You have never seen anything like it. TREMENDOUS. Just TREMENDOUS.
Parody — In the voice of Diklis Chump, by Main Street Independent. Not the words or positions of Diklis Chump.